Hey, just a quick shout out from a British fan.

Today I get the day off work because Prince William is getting married. I know you’re American, but I wondered if you had any views on the royal wedding and all the hype surrounding it.

Love the blog, thanks in advance.

How gracious and merciful of your queen to release you from the bonds of your grueling labour on such a glorious day!

Oh, joy. On the morrow, with a stiff upper lip and a well rounded Oedipal complex, her grandson the balding prince shall essentially marry his mother if she were played by a young Jennifer Aniston. Huzzah!

Alas, I was not born under the British Crown, and so to celebrate the honourable institutions of both marriage and monarchy, I shall be forced to spend the day masturbating to a Harrods catalogue while listening to the Sex Pistols, but by all means, you should enjoy being a royal subject.

Fish and chips. Bangers and mash. Pip pip, cheerio!