I’ve been wondering — what do you think on not laughing when somebody tells a joke concerning a subject you find is touchy/taboo? Like about the Holocaust or domestic violence or stuff like that?

What did Hitler say to the Jewish woman with two black eyes?

People have the right to support homosexuality. People also have the right to not support it. Do you agree or disagree?

It depends on whether you’re talking about natural rights or legal rights, and whether the notion of support is defined strictly within the scope of individual liberty.

I would agree that people have the natural right to their beliefs as a matter of individual liberty, but I would not agree that people have the legal right for their belief-based actions to infringe on the legal rights of others.

In other words, it’s fine if you’re just another asshole who doesn’t support gay marriage, but that doesn’t mean you get to enact legislation to deny gay people the right to get married.

My family therapist has convinced my mother that taking me to an ex-gay organization (specifically, Exodus International) will somehow help with the fact that I am transgender.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how dangerous would it be to humor the way-too-religious-for-someone-who-I-thought-was-supposed-to-be-unbiased source and allow myself to be taken?

End your treatment with this therapist immediately and file a formal complaint with your state board of psychology for what is appallingly unprofessional and unethical conduct.

Homosexuality is not a diagnosable mental disorder, and even if your therapist diagnosed you with gender identity disorder, it’s still total bullshit. No therapist who would recommend Exodus International or any kind of conversion therapy should be allowed to keep a license.

I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with a person in a position of trust who so fundamentally misunderstands the nature of the human condition.

Take it upon yourself to find someone new.

Good luck.

isn’t cocaine illegal? then how do you do drugs, openly advertise the fact that you are taking an illegal narcotic on the internet, and get away with it?

Get away with it? Fuck you. May no vehicle in which you travel ever go faster than the posted speed limit. May you be audited by the IRS every year. May you live your entire life and never break a single rule or law, be it for sodomy, loitering, or walking on the grass.

I wish that for you and everyone like you who thinks that in a free society, someone like me should have to be getting away with it.

so, you are very clearly pro-drugs and all that. but i’m curious – would you respect someone’s personal decision to stay clean or hold them in contempt?

Live how you wanna live, babe. I don’t give a fuck. Oh, and just to be clear, you’re the one holding me in contempt for thinking that you’re somehow more “clean” than I am.

While you’re on the subject of fatherlessness…

I woke up from a dream today clear that I had a question for you. The details of the dream are, I suspect, unimportant, but the image that lingers is of me finding an old box that I kept under my bed as a kid. Inside was this tiny wallet-sized photo of my biological father. It was the one my mom gave me when I was about 6, and instructed me to hide from the only person I ever knew as my dad. It’s not like the whole situation was a secret, but the dad I grew up with has a fragile ego, the type of an addict, the type even a six year old can perceive.

So in this dream, there’s the portrait, just like I remember, and then facing it there’s another picture; one I haven’t seen before.  The guy from the portrait is holding the baby version of me above him, smiling, our noses almost touching. That saccharine quality was enough to make me gag a little upon waking.

I found him on Facebook recently–my biological father. The internet is a funny place where a swift mouse click is the only thing separating you from communicating with a person you don’t know but to who you are innately and permanently connected.

He’s there. Along with his wife. I have a half-brother. A half-sister.

There’s the grown up in me that doesn’t want to fuck with something that isn’t broken. My life is pretty damn good. It seems his is, too. There are plenty of people who care about me deeply, and I still have the dad I grew up with (and I’m still afraid of hurting his feelings). But then there’s this little bratty child in me who wants to kick and scream and demand that this person acknowledge my existence.

What do I do?

Find a private moment when you have a clear mind and an open heart. Sit down and write your biological father a letter. No other direction than that. Just sit and write. See what comes out. Find out what you have to say to him.

Get it out on the page, and then let it sit for a while. Walk away from it. Come back a week or a month later and revisit it. Check how you feel against how you felt. Write more if you need.

Over time, use what you learn about your emotions to inform your decision about how to proceed. Process as much as you can before taking any action.

Life is long, sweetheart. Whether it’s a year from now or a decade, I have no doubt you’ll eventually make some sort of contact with your biological father.

Know yourself as much as possible before you do.

I believe Sufjan Stevens practices Islam, not Christianity.

That’s Cat Stevens, you magnificent asshole.

I’ve been dating this guy for the last week, but right now I’m just not emotionally available. I feel like I should break things off, but I wanna have sex with him first. Is that a really dick thing to do? I feel like it is… Should I do it anyway?

Shit, it’s only been a week. Just be honest. Make plans to see him one more time. Look him in the eye and say, “I’m not emotionally available right now and I don’t think I can keep seeing you, but I’d really like to have sex with you tonight.”

It’s a win-win. Not only are you shooting him straight, but I guarantee he’ll bring his hair-pulling, ass-smacking A game just to see if he can change your mind.

At the end of the night, just give him a kiss goodbye.

Good times.

Have you ever taken adderall? Is it similar to cocaine?

Adderall is amphetamine. It’s the socially acceptable, doctor approved version of speed, so chemically, it’s more like meth than blow.

It’s a favorite of hipsters with health insurance and tweaked out college kids, pretty much anybody with ADHD and a reason to stay up all night.

Oh, and here’s a friendly tip. If you aren’t capable of doing your own research for shit this basic, you should probably steer clear of habit forming substances.

I’m not pretty. It’s cool. Not everyone can be pretty. However, I don’t date a lot because well… I’m not pretty and I live in a college town where there are a lot of pretty girls. One of my guy friends keeps insisting I tell him why I don’t date (he has a girlfriend, he’s not trying to date me). How do I explain without sounding like I have super low self-esteem?

I don’t accept your implied premise that being pretty is a prerequisite for dating, nor do I accept your excuse that you don’t date a lot because you’re not pretty. Come on, bitch. You’re in college. Surely you know that correlation does not imply causation.

It doesn’t matter if you’re uglier than mormon sex, if you really wanted to be on a date right now, you could make that shit happen. This isn’t about your looks or your self-esteem. It’s about your priorities, and to some degree, it’s about your standards.

That’s not criticism, by the way. I’ve got no doubt that your priorities and standards are well adjusted. I’m just saying if you want to explain it to your guy friend, frame it in those terms.

In other words, you can tell him that you’ve got high standards, and dating just isn’t that high a priority for you right now. That’s the high self-esteem excuse you’re looking for.

Also, who the fuck is this guy that you owe him answers to personal questions in the first place? Friend or not, that shit isn’t any of his goddamned business, and you should feel free to tell him so.

Oh, and one more thing. You may not be a carbon copy of the local beauty standards, but that doesn’t mean you’re not pretty. You don’t know it, but I guarantee, every day you’re surrounded by people who think you’re hot.