On a bubbly twenty-two.

Dear Coquette,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year. He’s 29, and I’m 22. We don’t fight much, the sex is mind blowing, and we have fun together.

But, to be honest, I don’t really enjoy talking to him. He’s not my best friend. I can talk to him about anything, but it’s sometimes like talking to a brick wall.

But for some reason, the sex is seriously the best I’ve ever had. I’ve never been with anyone who can make me orgasm. And the chemistry is phenomenal.

Sex with him has always been perfect. It’s so good that I worry that I’ve overlooked other things that bug me in our relationship.

I want to break up with him because I know I’m not with someone who fulfills me in every way, but I’m worried I won’t find anybody else that sexually pleases me so much. What do I do?

The short answer? Grow up.  

Unfortunately, you’re a bubbly 22, and it’s just not fair to expect that of you quite yet. That’s OK. You’re not supposed to realize how annoying you are for a few more years.  

Yes, you are annoying. The things you talk about are often trite and uninteresting. That’s why your boyfriend turns into a brick wall. It’s a defense mechanism to shut out your incessant yapping. That sounds harsh, I know, but the dude is the better part of a decade older than you. He has things on his mind besides rainbows and unicorns.

Not that it matters, because you’re gonna break up with him anyway. This relationship is all but over, and that’s okay too. Neither of you were really taking it all that seriously, and you both will be over it in a few weeks. (Don’t worry, you’ll be having orgasms with other people in no time.) I just hope that in breaking up with him, you don’t establish a pattern of giving up on relationships because you’re not with someone who fulfills you in every way. That’s a dangerous precedent to set. 

Feel free to go through men like Kleenex in your early 20s, but don’t abandon relationships for not meeting an unrealistic ideal. It’s incredibly naive to expect romantic perfection, kiddo. That’s a bad habit, and being young is no excuse.  

No one will ever be perfect. You need to develop some patience and learn how to work on aspects of your relationships that bug you. Otherwise, when the time comes that you find someone worth taking seriously, you won’t have the skills necessary to make it work.


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