On a personal note

How can you speak so genuinely on forgiveness, yet when it comes down to your own mortal enemy, you still ignite into an angry woman wanting to duke it out with her? I am very, very sorry if I sound cynical or judging. I am honestly wondering on “how” you are able to do so. I am truly curious on this subject since I am struggling with forgiveness and have read through a lot of your insight on the subject.

I didn’t want to duke it out with that bitch. That’s why I turned the car around and went home.

My BFF called to warn me that she was at the party, drunk, and talking shit about the fact that I was coming. For me to have shown up to the party anyway would have been a deliberate choice to allow chaos and drama into my world. No, thank you. That’s not how I roll.

As for my blood boiling, well hell, what can I say? I’m only human. I hadn’t thought about that back-stabber in over two years. She was a mortal enemy for a hot minute in 2009. Big deal. I didn’t know that suddenly hearing about her would cause a flood of negative emotions.

I thought I had forgiven her. Certainly I’d moved on. I dunno, maybe I was just pissed that she leveraged some shit talk into fucking with my night.

Whatever. She’s the one who betrayed me. She’s the one who couldn’t even get my ex to fuck her, and she’s the one who’s so self-hating that she’s still acting out over shit that happened in another decade.

I guess the moral of the story is that just because I forgave her, it doesn’t make her any less of a hollow, damaged cunt.


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