Advice

On a quick slap.

First of all, you’re hilarious. I read every single one of your posts in the last two days and laughed my ass off to each. You cock slap everyone in the face and they all walk away wounded and I fucking love it. It’s now time for you to slap me in the face with some real advice and please slap me hard. My ex boyfriend, and also the guy that I lost my virginity to, has been back in the picture for the past four months. We’ve been sleeping with each other easily 3-4 times a day almost every day. The problem is he leaves in a month to live in a different state. I know that he’s leaving so I’m almost disengaging myself from him emotionally. Most of the time it seems like he’s really interested in being in a relationship but sometimes it just seems he’s in it for the sex. He asks me to go stay with him, and even offered to pay for the airfare, and he calls/texts me 24/7 BUT the only time we fight is if God forbid I don’t want to sleep with him. This morning, for¬†instance, we had sex once and I was about to leave (20 minutes later) and he wanted to have sex again. I told him no and he got all pissy. Truthfully the only time that we fight is when I don’t want to have sex. So, he gets all pissy and I leave and 30 seconds later he’s calling and apologizing to me about acting like a dousche lord. What’s your opinion on this? Please, make this slap hurt!

What do you want me to say? You’re getting fucked by a bratty man-child more often than you have hot meals.

I think you want this slap to hurt because you’re hoping if I hit you hard enough, it’ll knock you into a level of maturity where you’ll know the difference between being a girlfriend and being a cum dumpster.

He’s leaving in a month. He’s already been your ex-boyfriend once. You’re disengaging for a reason, kiddo. The relationship may not be officially over yet, but it’s circling the drain.

Feel free to start tapering off the fuck sessions, and don’t put up with any of his shit. If you aren’t in the mood, don’t fuck him.

By summertime, you’ll have a whole new boyfriend anyway.

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