How do I accept that I was abused and raped without becoming a victim? I’ve been told my whole life that no one likes victims, and I blame myself for what happened, anyway. I just want to move on, but I feel like I’m still too emotionally messed up from everything, so I’ve tried to avoid getting close to anyone since then. I know that’s not healthy, but I also don’t think anyone will want to be in a relationship with someone who was dumb enough to let someone abuse them.
When folks say that no one likes victims, what they mean is that no one likes a victim mentality, because it’s pretty intolerable when someone acts like a victim when they aren’t one.
You don’t have that problem. Quite the opposite, actually. You’re both terrified and resentful of ever having to be labeled as a victim, but due to the abuse you suffered, you feel as if you already have a huge fucking V tattooed on your forehead.
You don’t. Being a victim is not in your nature. Sure, some horrible shit happened to you, but it didn’t break you. You survived it, and now you’re in the process of healing. That’s how you need to start looking at it. Accepting that you were abused and raped doesn’t make you a victim. It makes you a survivor.
Just so you know, every emotion you’re experiencing is perfectly normal. None of this is your fault. Eventually, you will move on, and you’ll be an even stronger person than you were before all this shit went down.
I promise, this won’t mess you up forever.