I am 22, just out of college, in a low-paying job and a long-term relationship, and I just found out I’m pregnant. I’m not ready for kids, but I know he’s wildly anti-abortion and even anti-putting kids up for adoption. If I tell him, either I have a child I don’t want, or I lose someone I love. If I don’t tell him, I’ll have to lie to him for the rest of my life. Help.

You are not ready to be a mother. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. What follows isn’t going to be easy, but this begins and ends with the brutal truth that you do not want this pregnancy.

Tell him now. Don’t tell him now. It’s entirely up to you, but don’t let it affect your decision either way. One thing you should know deep down in your heart is that if your boyfriend leaves you based on your decision to terminate an unwanted pregnancy, then fuck him.

He would be the morally bankrupt person in that situation, not you. You wouldn’t want to raise a child with someone who would do that to you anyway, and as much as it would hurt to lose someone you love, I promise you would end up better for it in the long run.

This a major life decision, but it’s yours to make, so stay strong and do what you know is best.