I am a kind, considerate, and generous person who is never appreciated for what I do for others. Here is a recent example: I shelled out more than 50 bucks in cab fare, bus fare, and groceries for a friend’s visit only to have him decide at the last minute to stay with our mutual friend, who happens to be his ex, instead of me, wasting the time and money I put into picking him up from the airport and feeding him. I don’t expect anything in return for my thoughtfulness and I don’t want to stop being considerate and generous, but I am really tired of being unappreciated and taken advantage of. How do I make my family and friends recognize this without becoming selfish? Moreover, am I an asshole for demanding that my friends and family recognize this? Do I just need to get over myself and stop expecting others to behave in a certain way, or is my annoyance in the previously mentioned example justified? Is it even worth mentioning to the friends in the previous example?
No, really. Fuck you. You are not a kind, considerate, and generous person who is never appreciated. What you are is a selfish twit who isn’t any good at being emotionally manipulative.
If you feel like someone owes you appreciation for a kindness, then it wasn’t a kindness. It was merely a service rendered in expectation of that appreciation.
That’s not generosity. That’s quid pro quo, and not recognizing the difference is what makes you an asshole.