On attention deficit dating.

I have a bit of a guilt problem right now. I’m a serial monogamist, with an emphasis on serial – I’ll stay with a guy for a few weeks or so at a time. It’s sex with the benefits of friendship, cuddling, staying the whole night, etc. I start out genuinely liking the guy, but after a while I get bored and move on or let things die down. This pattern is perfect for me physically and emotionally.

The problem is, I seem to get bored before he does, which means I often have to hurt the guy when I break things off. This sucks, because I don’t want to keep hurting people with my own shallow indifference. Should I feel bad about this? I don’t want to just have meaningless, emotionless sex with some stranger, there’s nothing sexy about that for me. And I don’t want to go into anything with a forced expiration date, because who knows what could end up working out? Should I just keep my life the same, which works for me but might hurt the other person? Or should I just stick to porn and a dildo so I don’t hurt another nice guy?

Well, you’ve started being emotionally honest with yourself. The next step is being emotionally honest with your disposable boyfriends.

You need to come labeled like a pack of cigarettes. “Warning: Dating May Result in Premature Breakup.”

Don’t worry. Just like cigarettes, it’s not going to make you any less popular.

Giving a guy fair warning up front is the right thing to do. Tell him you get bored easily and your relationships rarely last more than a month. You know this about yourself, and now he does.

It’s actually a win-win, because most guys will see it as a challenge. They’ll go the extra mile to keep things interesting, and yet when the inevitable happens, the ground is already softened.


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