On being clueless

I’m 18. I like porn but I don’t feel the tiniest desire to have sex in real life. Plus, I don’t even know which gender I want to do it with. I find both equally attractive. What the hell is going on?

Of course you like porn. Porn is junk food. It’s is cheap, artificially sweetened, and readily available. Like all teenagers, you scarf it down without a second thought. Problem is, your burgeoning sexuality needs some actual nutrition, but no one wants to eat their fucking vegetables.

Sex in real life is complicated. It involves all sorts of confusing emotions. You face the potential for rejection, embarrassment, and shame. It can be messy when you know what you’re doing, and you don’t have a fucking clue.

That’s kind of the point. You think you have a clue because you saw it in a porno, but you don’t. Allow yourself to be clueless. You’re supposed to be wondering what the hell is going on.

Everything you’re feeling is perfectly normal, and you should take all the time you need to figure out your sexuality. You don’t have to pick a gender. You don’t have to start having sex until you’re ready, and when you do, you sure as hell shouldn’t compare it to anything you’ve seen in porn.


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