Advice

On breaking it down.

Dear Coquette,

To others, I look like a success. I know what a screw up I really am. I never really live up to my potential, have bad habits that don’t amount to addiction but aren’t healthy, etc.

I’ve gone farther in life than anyone would have expected from my beginnings. I don’t care about being rich or famous. I could make real contributions to the world, but I can’t motivate myself to work hard.

What the hell is my problem? Why can’t I make a reasonable effort in life? The easy answer is that I’m just smart enough to get away with it. I sort of want your existential answer mixed in with a bit of ass-kicking, please.

No problem. Let me break this one down for you line by line:


To others, I look like a success.

Actually, no one cares. Appearing successful is merely part of the identity you’re trying to project.


I know what a screw up I really am.

This is self-loathing or false modesty. Either way, shove it up your ass. We’re all screw ups, and no one’s ever gonna throw you a pity party.


I never really live up to my potential, have bad habits that don’t amount to addiction but aren’t healthy, etc.

Yeah, this is called “being human.”


I’ve gone farther in life than anyone would have expected from my beginnings.

What do you want, a cookie? Tell you what. If you put down that yardstick you’re using to measure how far you’ve gone in life, I’ll give you a cookie.


I don’t care about being rich or famous.

Liar.


I could make real contributions to the world, but I can’t motivate myself to work hard.

Sure, sure. You’d be Tony Stark if you could just put that bong in the closet.


What the hell is my problem?

Nothing. You don’t have a problem. You’re perfectly normal. Totally average. That’s what really scares the hell out of you.


Why can’t I make a reasonable effort in life?

Reasonable to whom? Your parents? It’s a bit too late to be bargaining with the cosmos for their approval, isn’t it?


The easy answer is that I’m just smart enough to get away with it.

No, that’s the bullshit answer. The easy answer is that you’re lazy.


I sort of want your existential answer mixed in with a bit of ass-kicking, please.

My answer is that you are nothing special, and that’s perfectly okay. Don’t be so afraid of your mediocrity. Find freedom in it, and just enjoy your life.

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