First off, your wording gives me a girl boner. I wish my boyfriend were here right NOW because reading about blowing rails off of nine inches of rock hard celebrity cock has me in a big hurry to tear the pants off of someone.

My question is this- how do you pull it off? How do you keep a dick hard and steady while you line the shit up and get down there with a straw? I’m visualizing sudden limpness or an involuntary muscle spasm dumping a gram onto rumpled sheets. Just a question of method, really- to be applied asap.

A fucking straw? It’s not a glass of iced tea, babe. It’s a hot throbbing cock balancing a tidy pile of cocaine. You put your nose on that shit.

Proper placement is key, and we’re talking about bumps here, not lines. I recommend the middle of the shaft. Only put blow on the head of his cock if he has a tendency to ejaculate prematurely.

I usually don’t need to worry about keeping the dick hard. The kind of guy who likes blow on his cock is the kind of guy who has a stash of Viagra.

Other tips include making sure things are relatively dry, and never forgetting to lick up every last trace of powder. If he fucks you with a dusty dick, your shit will go so numb it won’t be worth anyone’s time.