On cuddling.

I’ve been thinking about this for a little while and thought your input might help if you’re willing to give it. My boyfriend and I were best friends for a while before we got together. We’d have sex as friends then one day things just clicked and we ended up together.

When we have sex, however, as soon as we’re finished, he gets up out of bed or goes on his computer or watches TV. I know this has nothing to do with me, this is just how he is – I just wondered if you have any advice as to how to maybe keep him in bed for at least ten more minutes.

I never used to be all about ‘pillow talk’ or whatever but when you don’t have anything like that in your relationship, it just feels strange.

Our relationship is great otherwise; he is incredibly loving other times, always sweet to me etc. Just not after sex!

Any advice?

This is what you call one of those “good” problems. You’re in a healthy, stable relationship with a guy you consider your best friend, and the worst thing you can say is that you need ten more minutes of afterglow cuddle time. Not bad.

How ‘bout you just ask him for it? Ahead of time, that is. It’s better not to make an emotionally needy request immediately after he cums. That’s a recipe for awkwardness.

Besides, he may be checking his email and turning on South Park because that’s his way of dealing with a bit of the ol’ post-coital tristesse.

Just tell him how happy it would make you if he cuddled for a few minutes after sex. Don’t be critical and don’t make it a challenge. Boost his ego by telling him how strong he feels and how much you feel safe and protected when he holds you.

If he still insists on needing space during his refractory period, give it to him. Like you said, it’s not about you.


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