On cutting off your nose to spite your face

I’ll be voting Bernie if he’s nominated, I’m unbendable titanium in that scenario. But if it does come down to Trump VS Hilary, in special thanks to you being insufferable as fuck lately, I’ll be voting Trump. Keep coming off as a pretentious, broken, lesser-version of the powerhouse badass you once were.

Oh, and:

Embrace the change! 😉 bitch.


Wow. You’ve really set yourself up to fail here. You can use your vote to help elect the Democratic nominee, or you can use your vote just to spite me. Either way, I win. Bitch.


67 thoughts on “On cutting off your nose to spite your face

  1. CynicalGrey says:

    “You’re not responding in a way that makes me feel good about my opinions, so I am going to show you, dad!”

  2. Mango says:

    I love Bernie and hold a deep distrust of Clinton. That said, no way would I vote Trump if it comes down to him and her.

  3. RocketGrunt says:

    Is the writer actually changing their vote just because they don’t like an anonymous stranger on the internet, or are they finding a lazy excuse to not vote for Hillary to cover their latent misogyny?

    • hm says:

      My favorite part is the lack of snide vocabulary–falling back on emojis to try to sound sarcastic is really only idicitive of a dumb bitch.

  4. definitely not batman says:

    Oh I cringed so hard. Even before I read the answer. Just… what kinda petty narcissistic bullshit is this. I need to get some fresh air lol

  5. Livvid says:

    You wanna vote for the Democratic Socialist, but just to spite an anonymous blogger on the internet, you’re willing to vote for the fascist?

    Fuck you. We’re all gonna deal with Trump if he wins. Your principles are a sack of shit.

    CQ has said plenty of things that have made my blood boil. Get the fuck over it.

    • RocketGrunt says:

      Seriously. I have no doubt that CQ has said something to piss off every single one of us at least once, but for some reason this weirdo thinks throwing a tantrum about it will hurt her feelings.

  6. Anna says:

    I can’t stand the sexism in this letter.
    Coquette is giving out opinions that you can take or leave. A women stops talking about sex and drugs and starts talking politics and policy* and suddenly she’s no longer a “powerhouse badass” but “insufferable”, may I say even hysterical ?
    I just can’t stand this.
    *Actually she has always had a political stance, it’s just more relevant during election time.

  7. Chrissy says:

    Yes, by all means, wipe your ass with your ballot because of your petty and transparently personal spite boner. 😉

  8. Helena says:

    OP You do seem like a miserable (or rather insufferable) fuck, glad you’ve found out you’re in the wrong place though. Good luck with that.

  9. Jen says:

    Embrace the change? What the fuck type of change? Donald Trump is a rich bigot. He’s a fucking trust fund baby. He openly mocks his supporters to their faces and they thank him for it. He wants to create blood feuds on international levels. He wants to put a target on the back of every American serviceman and servicewoman, not to mention every American citizen. He wants to shutdown freedom of the press. He wants to turn the real, live, fucking world we live and breathe in, into a fucking dystopian hellscape. Max Mad is a fucking film franchise not a goddam model for policy.

    This clinically insane fuckery is the change that little cunt is talking about and I refuse to embrace that shit. Fuck you. Whoever you are you have no fucking foresight. Whoever you are you have no principles. That’s why you’re so easily able to abandon one set for the other. You are the equivalent of all those Germans who stood by and let the Nazis murder hundreds of thousands of innocent people. You are just as complicit. Grow a spine. Swallow your pride and disappoint and do the right fucking thing when and if the time comes.

    Sincerely, A Bernie Supporter

    • The Person Who Originally Posted This (Most of You Can Call Me Daddy) says:

      Max Mad? I couldn’t tell if you were asking for a Maxi Pad or trying to reference the movie “Mad Max”. Either way you sound like you could use a fresh pack.

    • Perspectivator says:

      Thanks Jen. You make me feel like I’m not alone in this nuclear dumpster fire we call an election year.

  10. thorn says:

    I just sense an overstuffed hamper and a filthy bathroom. Black grout and not a swiffer, a mop, nor a broom. A mold splotched rubber duck next to a bic razor with a two-month old shaving cream film caked onto it. An orange shower curtain that was once completely transparent.
    A kitchen with mismatched plates stacked around the sink. A novelty license plate from Spencer’s that says “I don’t swim in your toilet, don’t pee in my pool” taped over missing tiles in the backsplash. A sponge instead of a scrubber. Amber drinking cups.
    Chinese slippers from 1997 in the backyard piled next to a dead tomato plant in a plastic pot.
    A sailboat on a trivet. A birdbath spray-painted blue.

      • The Person Who Originally Posted This (Most of You Can Call Me Daddy) says:

        You forgot to mention the Grease memorabilia (Sandy’s tube socks covered in jizz)

        • Perspectivator says:

          I don’t think anyone should call you daddy. You’re not clever. You’re not funny. And what little shock value you had was quickly devalued by how you pissed it all away. Any offensive currency you had is lost. You’re pretty much the weakest troll I’ve ever seen.

          Holy shit.

          You’re Donald Trump.

          …and that explains why you are voting for yourself.

  11. The Person Who Originally Posted This (Most of You Can Call Me Daddy) says:

    Come on girl…you really think I’d stoop beneath the level of a troll and actually vote for Trump? You’re a goddamn fool. My stance regarding you was stated in a hurried, and purposely dimwitted way; it merely hinted to accuracy. Basically, it was far less malicious than I’m capable of. But let’s be real…you suck majority of the time dude. You didn’t used to. I can’t pinpoint the date you became ruined; could be since leaving L.A., but specifics are beside the point. It’s clear you’ve latched onto too much pretentious, verbose, and bloated literature. Your viewpoints are smug and over-informed. You’ve become the puppet and pseudo-academia is your puppet master. Your asshole has been pumped with so much waste that the regurgitation coming up through your mouth has eroded your once sharp tongue. Keep answering lame questions; being a softy where you used to be a killer, and a joke of a killer whenever the agenda connected to your strings is tugged. Now be a good girl and defend yourself in front of all your snarling little cheerleaders. Bitch.

    • Blueb says:

      This was quite the cry for attention, friend. I hope you’re satisfied, and that you find something better to do with your free time.

      By the way, l2troll. Once you’ve gone around going, “LOLZ GOT U,” all over the board as if you’re smearing shit on a wall, you’ve done outed yourself for being a butthurt lil baby.

    • Kelly says:

      I’m trying to wrap my mind around the worldview that results in throwing out words like “over-informed” as an insult.

      • Christy says:

        I think it’s the same one where you threaten to vote for Trump, actually. Or where you genuinely support Trump. How about that?

    • Anna says:

      Attention whore alert.
      There are better ways of criticizing than trolling. Try to remember you own fucking dignity.

    • reply says:

      What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you say such mean things to someone? For what purpose? Aren’t you smart enough to know that this is just your opinion and that it isn’t nice to share it? Is this how you live life? Are you proud to be a bully? I am so sorry for whatever went on in your life that made you think it’s okay or normal to bully someone like this. Please have the courage to reach out to level-headed people you know and tell them that you’d just like to talk and have someone listen. The sooner you do this, the better. There’s a lot of love for you in this world, but you have to be the authority and say “I’m going to help myself.” Make yourself talk to someone. And don’t you come at me with “I’m fine, I was just posting hate mail on someone’s website because they think they’re the shit but they aren’t anymore” because THAT IS NOT HEALTHY and precisely why you should talk to someone. I can pick up on a lot of un-addressed pain in you, Daddy, and you have the opportunity every minute to set up an appointment with a therapist, or get out a piece of paper and write down all the things you know you haven’t dealt with yet and get to work on compassionately dealing with them. Bullying people will never relieve your pain, I’m sorry. Wishing you courage. You can do this. (And shame on any of you reading who support bullying like this. Then turn around and say you care about world suffering. WAKE UP AND START USING YOUR HEADS AND HEARTS, KIDS!)

    • mue says:

      i really don’t think the poster deserves so much hate. I enjoy this blog very much and i will certainly keep reading it. The Coquete offers very interesting viewpoints and insights on a broad range of things and has a very enjoyable writing style. But it really is not more than that! This is an advice-blog. A good advice-bolg of course. But I feel a lot of you obsess over this blog and its author in an almost cultish way. The poster offers criticism that really should be considered and not be trampled over by an angry mob that need to defend every word their guru says. I also feel the tone has become more smug over the last year and i don’t like it that much. I’m not opposed to change, I even like that you, coquette, became a little more gentle in some points. I also still respect your judgment and views. I can’t quite decide if it’s your writing style that has a more superior tone to it now or if it always had that and I just didnt’care. It’s possible that i feel the need to be more critical than i used to be because i’m so pissed of by all the sycophancy (like some poster called it lately) in the comment-section. But it could also be that said sycophancy really got to your head a little.

      (not my mother-tongue, please don’t shred my for grammatical errors. shred me for what i said if you want to shred.)

      • Chrissy says:

        Mue, there’s a difference between having a difference in opinion and being a petty, vindictive shit lover, and that’s why you’re seeing anger leveled at the letter writer. Also, just because the comments feature is pretty new to this blog, doesn’t mean that ass-kissers are.

        • mue says:

          you’re probably right, only because the ass-kissing hasn’t been visible to me it doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. Didn’t think about that.

    • germangirl says:

      Coke has over-informed viewpoints and a stretched asshole? Fascinating. Tell us more! This snarling cheerleader is all ears.

    • PD says:

      Hilariously the title of this advice still stands. Poor lil girl. Was it the first time she mentioned owning your own emotions that hurt the most?

  12. Kay says:

    Sometimes it amazes me that people expect you to be the same person you were years ago, Coke. You are not any less sharp as you were before, but I guess some really can’t embrace the fucking change. Perhaps those who are bothered by the change (as I’ve seen this sort of comment floating around a couple of times) need to evaluate why they need you to stay the same.

    • Perspectivator says:

      Everyone keeps saying she’s changed. I don’t see it. Different words come out but the core values are identical. Honesty, integrity, and clarity. I doubt you can find two posts that show a significant delta in those qualities. Bitch slapping, shooting from the hip, and tough love are just different icing.

      • sleeplessangels says:

        I can see it, but the only change I’ve seen is positive. I started following Coke as a lost 18-year-old. Now as a lost 24-year-old I can see the edge has come off of her “tough love” approach a lot, which is something I myself stopped believing in when I discovered how few cases it actually works in and how often it’s just a grab at feeling superior masked with the excuse of trying to make the other person better.

        My personal growth has mirrored hers in that way, but apparently some people don’t like that. I can only guess it has to do with the loss of that vicarious sense of smug superiority.

  13. mp says:

    If you’re the author of this submission please take a long walk off a short pier.

    Take your shitty attitude back to YouTube where it belongs.

  14. cunt on wheels says:

    this is such a crock of shit. I’ve noticed that an overwhelming amount of the people who dislike “new” Coquette are short-sighted, purposefully inflammatory and vindictive as hell. They all liked watching an LA party girl shit on normies about their petty problems, but couldn’t see the hardcore emotional athlete laying the groundwork for some serious DIY soul surgery for those of us who were reading the questions, and her answers, critically. Now that she’s dropped 80% of the vitriole, the vitriolic feel betrayed (and therefore attacked, because everything is about them, duh) and would rather blame Coquette for “weakness” rather than consider that the questions people are now asking are of a different kind than they were 5 years ago and that the woman answering them might be different from how she was 5 years ago. As we say where I’m from, bless their hearts. Bless their crooked, worm-ridden hearts that pump with battery acid not blood.

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