On enforcing your emotional space.

My dad just died after a particularly vicious battle with cancer. While I appreciate people’s condolences, I’m just sick of them. I’m sick of everyone I see bringing it up and asking me how I am. The truth is, I feel like shit. I watched my dad’s body rot for 3 years of my teenage life, and it wasn’t a picnic. I feel like everyone expects me to just be okay with it now, even though it’s only been a month. I guess my question is, how do I make people stop talking about it? Currently my solution is to be a raging bitch every time people ask inappropriate questions or try to hug me, but I’m not certain that it’s the best method. I just want to be left alone to mourn in peace. So how do I civilly let people know to shut the fuck up?

Just dial it back from raging bitch to stone cold rude.

Enforce your emotional space just like you enforce your physical space. If someone brings up your dad’s death, simply look them in the eye and say “I’d rather not talk about it.”

Be firm. Be rude. This is one of those times where it’s completely appropriate to end the conversation abruptly. People will understand being cut off.

If someone insists on pressing the issue, leave the room. Don’t make a scene. Don’t be a raging bitch. Just excuse yourself. You don’t owe them an explanation, after all they’re the one’s violating your emotional space.


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