Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

Are you team Edward or team Jacob?
Kill yourself.

What’s the difference between a libertarian and a conservative?

A medical marijuana card.

I have a small penis. What should I do?

Stay in shape and make a lot of money.

What do you think of the Illuminati??
Oh, please. I am the fake lashes on the Eye of Providence.

Why are pro-life people being so mean and stupid?
That’s how people get when they think god is on their side.

stop answering religious questions. they make me want to punch you in the face.
Oh, hey Jesus.

Every time I drink, I want coke. Is there any remedy to this?

Yes. Coke.

Isn’t coke a bit of a waste of time?

Quit looking at your watch, asshole.

Do you believe truth is subjective?

Shut up and keep licking.

Is it true that I have cold feet because my vagina lets out all the heat?

Yes, and if you tape your vagina shut, your shoes won’t fit anymore.

Do you ever feel insecure about yourself?

Of course I do. All the time. Everyone does.

How many times should one be cheated on before leaving a relationship?

However many times your dignity will allow plus one.

You’re so full of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit but everyone buys it. Ay.

It must be difficult being so much better than everyone else.

Are you black or white?
I bet this gets Michael Jackson stuck in everyone’s head.


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