Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Why do I have it in my head that if I’m not famous, recognized as an expert, or popular in my peer group, I haven’t lived an important life?
Because you’re a product of consumer capitalism steeped in celebrity culture.

Define normal, please.
Normal is just a median range, a statistical average, but in common usage the word is a culturally loaded modifier that contextually reinforces dominant ideologies (e.g., normal relationships, normal clothes, normal sex, or normal food.) The actual definition of “normal” is much less important than how you let it define your world.

I consider myself to be a hedonistic nihilist, but a friend insists that the two philosophies are not only incompatible, but are in fact polar opposites. What would you say?
Your friend must be confused. Existential nihilism and classical Epicurian hedonism are different schools of thought, but they go together quite nicely. They’re the philosophical equivalent of peanut butter and jelly. (Or peanut butter and chocolate, if that’s your pleasure. Not that it matters.)

Is there such a thing as casual heroin use?
There’s such a thing as experimental heroin use, perhaps even occasional heroin use, but the word casual implies drug use that is both controlled and non-problematic. Given heroin’s ridiculously high potential for physical dependence and the lifestyle typically associated with its users, I’d have to say that genuinely casual heroin use is a damn near impossible feat, especially over time, and even more so if needles are involved.

I am getting an abortion in a few days. Though I know it is the best decision, there are moments when I can’t breathe. Please, Coquette, I will take any words of wisdom you have.
The waiting is the hardest part, but everything will be okay. Moments of anxiety and apprehension are to be expected, and they’re perfectly understandable. Remember though, you didn’t just make the best decision. You made the right decision.

I just got out of a pretty serious relationship. Hurt, but ultimately OK. Problem: before the relationship, I enjoyed having casual sex with various people. It was awesome. Now, however, I find the vast majority of people fairly gross. How do I get past this and start having fun again?
Time. It just takes time. Your heart is still sore from breaking, but don’t worry, you’ll have fun again. (And for the record, the vast majority of people have always been fairly gross. You just have a selective memory from the last time you were single.)

Do you think you’ll ever be too old to be an L.A. party girl?
Definitely. The mid 2000’s were my peak party years. This decade is for slowing down with a very select group of friends. (I don’t mind getting older. I’m good at it, and I appreciate the perspective.)


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *