Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Why do I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy?
Because you hold false beliefs about the nature of happiness.

Do you think ebola will become a pandemic?
No. As much as it appeals to our secret desire to witness Armageddon, humanity isn’t gonna be decimated by some scary African uber-virus. Don’t worry. We’re all gonna die regular, boring vanilla-flavored deaths from either heart disease or cancer at some point in the next few decades.

Which is the repository of more bad ideas, christianity or islam?

It’s the same repository.

I generally don’t get along with people who wear bows in their hair.
I generally don’t get along with people who make spurious correlations about other people’s fashion accessories.

Do you think there’s really a difference between cheating and ethical non-monogamy?
Of course there is. Even you think so. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have felt the need to stick “ethical” in front of non-monogamy.

Is it normal for every girl to be convinced she’s pregnant after she loses her virginity?
Absent any legitimate concerns of potential pregnancy (broken condom, late period, etc.), that kind of reaction is usually an expression of religious guilt. It shouldn’t be normal, but I’m guessing you come from somewhere extra-Jesusy.

Is it morally sufficient to tolerate homosexuals?
Ew. What a gross question, and no, it is not morally sufficient to merely tolerate homosexuals. Your type of begrudging tolerance implies that there’s something wrong with being homosexual, and there’s not. Acceptance and inclusion without prejudice is the minimum requirement for moral sufficiency. If you can’t fully accept that there’s nothing wrong with being homosexual, then your beliefs still represent a moral failure.

I can’t break up with him because it’ll hurt him so much. I’ve never purposefully and knowingly caused someone that much pain.
You are not responsible for his emotional state. One more time for the cheap seats: YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS EMOTIONAL STATE. You are being held hostage by your boyfriend’s fragility. That’s disgusting. If you want out of the relationship, get the fuck out. Don’t make his weakness yours.

What’s the difference between hope and expectation?
The difference between hope and expectation is the difference between gambling and taking a risk.


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