Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

True or false: If you truly love someone, being faithful is easy.
False. If you truly have integrity, being faithful is easy. Do not confuse love and integrity. Love is just an emotional state, and regardless of how deeply or intensely it may be felt, it’s still not a measure of the content of your character.

I’m not gorgeous, nor beautiful, nor even quite pretty. I’m honestly rather average. I know his flaws, both physical and personality-wise, and he knows mine, but my question is purely vain/physical: why, when he can and has dated model-material, would a man like that settle for someone like me?
Because you’re better than them.

A dude I know on a semi-acquaintance, semi-friend basis is constantly talking about how much he likes “positive” things and people, and disdains “negative” things and people. Can you help me understand why this way of thinking pisses me off so fucking much?
He’s a blustering idiot who thinks he’s stumbled onto profundity by parroting a circular philosophy that amounts to “positive things are good” and “negative things are bad.” The fancy word for that kind of thinking is a tautology, and it pisses you off because his entire world view is an exercise in vacuous redundancy.

How do you initiate an “open the relationship” talk with your partner of 5+ years?
Get yourself a copy of Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. It’s exactly what you need.

I have zero interest in going to my 10 year high school reunion, do you think I should go anyways?
Yeah, why not? This is one of those times where you should do what makes for the better story.

I just got dumped, and it hurts like hell. Any tips for dealing with the crushing sense of loneliness and hopelessness that has accompanied it?
Enjoy the pain. (I’m serious. It can be savored. Just don’t wallow in it. Respect the heartbreak as an important part of life, and then let it pass as quickly as possible.)

Can you elaborate on what it means to be innocent, as used in your last post?
That kind of innocence is the forgivable form of ignorance. It’s not knowing any better. It’s the reason why they say it’s bliss.

Sooo… if self help books are for losers, what does that make your blog then?
Fucking brilliant.


6 thoughts on “On fun-sized advice

  1. Julie says:

    The other thing that bugs me about the “positivity” types is that they are being inherently judgmental and negative while imagining they are so above it.

  2. Colleen says:

    Thanks for “Opening Up.” It’s really helping me straighten out my thoughts about my relationships and what I need from them.

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