Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Are you as fucking sick of this “Cool” Pope shit as I am? Congratulations your organization advanced into the early 20th century.
Meh. I don’t mind the cool pope. I mean sure, the Catholic Church is a grotesquely evil institution that spreads ignorance and fear throughout the globe, but as long as we gotta have a pope, I’d rather him be a progressive liberal. (Relatively, of course.)

Can you help me articulate why I feel blinding anger when, after doing something unprofessional and shitty, my boss apologizes and says, “Are we cool?” and if I don’t say “Yes,” he pouts? What is the exact phrase for the manipulative bullshit he is pulling?
He’s not apologizing. He’s trying excuse himself, and he’s demanding your complicity. Real apologies don’t come with emotional strings attached.

I said I wanted to be the one called instead of doing the calling. He said he’d call. He hasn’t. Do I call, which feels like caving, or do I read the subtext and let it go, which feels like giving up?
Take the fucking hint.

You mentioned that Bernie Sanders has a legitimate chance of winning the White House. Do you think the same is true for Trump? Does this worry you at all?
No. Bush is gonna win the Republican nomination.

Why the fuck are Republicans so determined to shut down Planned Parenthood anyway? Do they not understand that they’re alienating even their own voting base? Are they seriously so anti-women that they want to keep us from getting cancer screenings? What could they possibly gain from this?
They’re not alienating their base. They’re catering to it. America is full of selfish, bible-banging halfwits who genuinely believe that defunding Planned Parenthood is a righteous cause.

What do you think about the niqab?
Well, it’s certainly not for me, and I don’t recommend it for tanning.

Is your ego really dead?
No, but I kill it whenever I can.

How can I stop being bitter when the world is full of such shitty things?
You don’t have to fill yourself with the shitty things.


8 thoughts on “On fun-sized advice

  1. KK says:

    “You don’t have to fill yourself with the shitty things.”
    KABAM. This.

    Outrage and indignation sells and after a while the news can be like a drug. You think you are educating yourself, but you actually crave sensation and anger.

  2. RocketGrunt says:

    I have a handful of friends who are Republicans, but they don’t want Planned Parenthood shut down and they hate all the 2016 GOP presidential candidate. I guess that just says more about my choice in friends than the typical Republican voter.

    • Kristin says:

      I reside in east Texas and let me tell you, even the intelligent Republicans here like dissolve into bullshit-spewing morons when it comes to politics and believe that Planned Parenthood is the harbinger of all evil.

  3. t. says:

    I remember the first time you were asked about pope francis being a cool pope you were basically like “fuck him, he’s still the pope.” i realize that’s the attitude i’ve held this entire time and seeing you be more accepting is making me question if that was really how i felt or if i was just parroting you (i think it was the latter..)

  4. Chi says:

    As an ex Catholic with a rabid Catholic family, I’d like to point out that while the pope is progressive and ‘liberal’, it doesn’t trickle down. A lot of the priests don’t like him because ‘he supports sin'(teh gays,the baby murderers) and judging by my family, some Catholics want the dude taken out.

  5. Ben says:

    Personally I’d rather a Pope who honestly represents the very powerful institution he heads, so that some people might be able to engage in critical appraisal of that harm-doing body, rather than be misdirected by the clever bit of PR that this pope really is.

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