Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

last semester of college and my childhood best friend is moving away. Why do I feel so damn sad about it even though we’re in college anyway?
Because your childhood is over, and it’s a thing worth grieving.

What do you do when the man you love is marrying someone else?
You do what it takes to fall out of love. Step back. Reframe him. Let it hurt for a while, and then move on. He’s just a man. One day you’ll see that.

What are your thoughts on euthanasia?
I think people have the natural right to chose the time and manner of their own deaths.

I met a guy. Casually dated for a few weeks but I got too many bad vibes and wanted to dump him. He can’t take no for an answer but he’s not putting any effort into it. What do I do now?
End the relationship immediately, preferably over the phone with a friend by your side. Tell him it is over, and that you do not want any more contact with him. He doesn’t get to talk back. He doesn’t get to see you one more time. He doesn’t have a say in your decision. Do not reply to his texts. Do not answer his calls. If he shows up at your door, do not open it, and do not hesitate to call the police.

Why did I only feel comfortable telling him I loved him after I broke up with him?
Because after you broke up with him, there was no emotional risk.

Rank ’em: pancakes, waffles, french toast.
Waffles (as in Waffle House waffles, not that Belgian trash), french toast (as long as it’s not too tarted up), followed closely by pancakes, which are still delicious, but often better in theory than on the actual plate.

Are you still going to Coachella despite the move?
Guns N’ Roses, LCD Soundsystem, and Miike Snow might be enough to bring me back. We’ll see.

Amal Clooney? I don’t get it. . . do you think highly or lowly of her? Hard to tell. . .
My new twitter avatar is not an ironic choice. I think very highly and have immense respect for Amal. (Although I kind of wish she’d kept her maiden name.)

What makes your new crush “inappropriate?”
My crush is a colleague, one with whom I’ll be working closely for at least the next 18 months.

“Thoughts and advice from an accidental guru who will answer as long as you keep asking.” I like this! What prompted the change?
Personal growth. I no longer consider my advice to be shady, and I haven’t been a raging bitch for quite some time.

new crush and new city? this feels like the end of ‘the girls guide to hunting and fishing’. don’t disappear on me. i still need you to guide me through my first love.
That’s very sweet, but you can relax. I’m not disappearing. I’m just transitioning into a new stage of life.


14 thoughts on “On fun-sized advice

    • Ellie says:

      Yes, it’s like the transition from the raging bitch of the past has reached the other end of the spectrum. Coquette is expressive enough in her writing that we can sense at which point in life she is. I’ve loved every moment of that process, by the way. Cheers indeed, and happy new year.

  1. Laura says:

    It’s clear that Amal is worthy of the utmost respect. She has a plethora of accomplishments. I was really probing for your opinion on her marriage, since that would be the only reason to be parodical – as you were with the Britney-avatar. Now, I realize that I unfairly posited her private life as a premise for the respect she deserves. My bad.

    Imminent judgments aside, I was curious in your take on their relationship as I find your opinion on topics, however trivial, amusing. But, I also wouldn’t blame you for refusing to dignify my shallow question with an answer.

    Love and respect to you, either way. Awesome to hear your exciting news, babe.

  2. Anna says:

    The thought of Belgian waffles just brought up a deep sense of nostalgia for childhood walks with my family in Brussels.

  3. dick rider says:

    I miss your shady advice days, but you would be a caricature of your old life if your blog hadn’t grown with you.

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