Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Are you playing Pokémon Go?
Fuck no.

Please answer a load of fun-sized questions about pokemon go.
Fuck no.

I’m sure you’ve recieved a million of these but please weigh in on the Swift-Kimye feud.
I did when I tweeted, Y’all can’t tell the difference between a snatch and a snitch.  (If you don’t get it, read this comment.)

New resolution: every time my dad gives me advice, I’m going to do the exact opposite.
Okay. (It worked for George Costanza.)

Do you think I am losing my independence by taking my future husband’s last name? I’ve always believed that feminism means both men and women should be able to do what they want without gender norms stopping them. So I want his name, but I get nervous it’ll set a bad example if we were to ever have a daughter.
If you want to take his name, take his name. If you don’t, don’t. Quit overthinking it. Your independence is demonstrated by exercising your choice. That’s the lesson you’ll teach your daughter.

my boyfriend follows hot girls he doesn’t know on Instagram. It doesn’t bother me, but it does bother me that he gets upset when I mention that a dude is hot. How is what he’s doing any different?
It’s not any different, except that what he’s doing is low-key creepy, and what you’re doing is perfectly normal. Also, welcome to the world of gender based double-standards. Get cozy.

This Convention is like dropping acid at a country club while someone plays Queen on a rented jukebox and someone spun the clock backwards. When will it end? It’s like a Fellini film glued to the back of my eyelids. It’s a screaming psychotic episode! Help!
Fellini? Nah. Too optimistic. Everything about 2016 has been directed by David Cronenberg.

In terms of percentages, how much should I laugh at the RNC situation versus cowering in fear?
100% laughter. No cowering. Fear is what those assholes are selling. Don’t buy it.


68 thoughts on “On fun-sized advice

  1. VeryOff says:

    I don’t know enough about the kimye/swift thing to completely decode Cqt’s tweet. Can someone please break it down?

    sincerely out of my realm,

    • Livvid says:

      By recording and distributing the conversation between Kanye and Taylor, Kim broke one of the fundamental rules of celebrity culture: don’t show the people what goes on behind the scenes. The mystery is a major selling point.

      Legally, and you could argue ethically, what Kim did is a violation of privacy. It was also taken out of context, as we’ll never know the full scope of what went on.

      I will say, being Team None of These Fuckers makes all of this to me pure, endless entertainment.

      At least that’s my guess on CQ’s perspective. I’d love to see any differing opinions on this. Celebrity gossip or not, I think there is definitely some room for really good conversation about the implications this has on privacy, celebrity culture, gender, etc.

    • Perguntas says:

      I *think* that Coquette meant that Kim’s move was that of a cunt, not a snitch. Swift used Kanye’s song as a martyr badge (“whoa is me! I am a woman who worked hard for her success*”) and KK called her out on it.

      I am sort of enjoying Princess TS being taken down by Kim fucking Kardashian. TS is our children’s Gwyneth Paltrow.


      • Perguntas says:

        Argh! I only now realized that I wrote “WHOA” instead of “woe,” ugh. Long day, chickens. I am curious to hear what Coke meant, though!

      • Livvid says:

        I didn’t even think of the word “snatch” as a synonym for cunt…… damn that gives the Tweet a whole new meaning! I thought snatch like, she’s been snatched.

          • Perguntas says:

            OMG! That is fascinating! I never even thought that CT could have meant “snatch” as a verb.

            So KK is SNATCHING TS’ wig, not SNITCHING on her. that makes sense too.

          • WhoAmI says:

            Maybe my point of view on this is a bit too Tumblr-centric, but I’m pretty sure Coke is actually saying the opposite.
            Which makes sense, Kim K is too dumb a bitch to snatch anyone in the industry without being a crass little snitch.
            There’s a world between pulling off receipts from public data and revealing private matters like that, and Kim is damn lucky she’s still considered somewhat relevant (and she knows it). If she did that 7 months from now she would have gotten WRECKED.

          • R says:

            “If she did that 7 months from now she would have gotten WRECKED.”
            Could you elaborate? From my understanding, what you’re saying is that the Kim K machine is going to slow down by the end of the year, which seems… unlikely.

          • WhoAmI says:

            Last year she was all over the place all over the world (for being her tacky self but hey whatever floats your boat).
            She started this year trying to be so all over the place by instingating petty drama and such.
            It’s maybe just temporary, but she sure is slowing down. When girls in rural France try to look like you, it means you peaked two years ago.
            She’s still gonna go strong of course, just not as much.

      • abab says:

        Swift comes from affluence. I’m sure she worked hard for her success, but it probably helped that (I’m quoting wiki now) “her father, Scott Kingsley Swift, is a Merrill Lynch financial advisor. He was raised in Pennsylvania, and is the descendant of three generations of bank presidents. Her mother, Andrea Gardner (Finlay) Swift, is a homemaker who previously worked as a mutual fund marketing executive.”

        Anyway, yeah. It at least partially explains her behavior as a *queen bee* slash bully in the music industry. No one can come from that kind of privilege and not have a sense of entitlement.

    • The Coquette says:

      WHOAMI finally got it. Everyone who sided with Kim when she released the private video (and that was pretty much everyone) was praising her for snatching (yes, as in wig-snatching) Taylor, when really all she did was act like a schoolyard tattle-tale (as in a snitching). Everyone went wild like it was some brutal wig-snatch, when really it was just a low-down act from a petty, vindictive snitch.

      That’s what I found to be both hilarious and sad at the same time. The people who reacted positively to this stupid, stupid story are so ethically underdeveloped that they can’t recognize narcissistic, Machiavellian behavior when its staring them plainly in the face.

      Mind you, I’m not taking sides in this manufactured feud, because everyone involved is an asshole and none of it is real. I’m just pointing out that anyone who used the #KimExposedTaylorParty hashtag is a piece of hot garbage that I wouldn’t trust around a cash register.

      • Alexander says:

        What move do you consider an actual “wig-snatch”? I’m loving that you’re using that word, I’m curious to know what it means to you.

      • Booboo says:

        I don’t care for either of the three involved and didn’t put much thought into Kim’s actions. I was more fascinated by how the feud shined a rare light on a huge celebrity like Taylor Swift. Especially someone who is marketed as a sweet girl.

    • Cate says:

      It’s fun and mindless to play, but if I weren’t in the age group that’s nostalgic about the original games I would be well past tired of hearing about it.

    • Alveary says:

      I don’t think age i.e. a lack of childhood nostalgia is the primary contributing factor here. Pokemon Go is great for depressed social misfits, but if you’ve already spoken to another human being in the last week about something other than the nearest scyther spawn point, it doesn’t have a lot to offer.

      • Brynn says:

        Most of the people where I work that are playing it are the servers and bartenders, and ummm… they’re usually the ones with some of the best social skills.

        Honestly, regardless of your opinion of it, you can’t really deny that it’s one of the few games that has really transcended both racial and gender barriers. That is worth recognition in its own right.

          • Brynn says:

            Fair enough, transcend was definitely the wrong word. What I mean is that it isn’t an overwhelmingly white male demographic that plays Pokemon. It’s everyone. Hell, I saw a 40 something year old Philippino woman playing it on the day it came out.

            Oh! I work with this one dude who I had nothing in common with – different cultures, different generations, different interests – even after two months of working together we hadn’t found any common ground except taking shit (standard industry relationship). This game reminded us both how much we loved playing pokemon when we were younger. Being able to nerd out over the early days of Nintendo with him has been awesome.

          • Alveary says:

            Thanks for sharing this. Obviously there are going to be racial elements of playing a game that attracts police attention- I’ve seen black kids telling stories of being hassled by police while trying to follow the same routes as their white friends & being kept inside by understandably concerned parents, but I hadn’t seen anything from this angle, just complaints from people in empty rural areas.

      • Alveary says:

        Clarification- I’m not trying for the shitlord of edge palace crown here. I AM the depressed social misfit with difficulties talking to strangers. I have no less than 7 emotional Go stories saved on my phone, from EMTs talking about lures being put down for children stuck in the hospital and seeing them gather in the room of a kid who was bed bound to share stories and strategies, to a mother overjoyed that her autistic child was able to interact with others and switch up his routine to catch Pokemon, to a 40 yr old black dude in an affluent, snobby neighborhood who felt people were relaxed and comfortable around him in a way they hadn’t been before.

        So I’m by no means knocking the reason I get out of bed, exercise, and then have energy to pursue personal growth. My point was that it’s not just age because I’ve seen a lot of older people get into it, and of course with the wide popularity of the app not everyone is gonna be an awkward nerd, but those that benefit the most are people who need that extra push to go explore and interact.

        I just don’t visit this blog expecting stories of “Caught so many beautiful pokemon children and I love each and every one of them do you want to see a picture of my scyther her name is Julie and here is my weedle, Anger Tube,” like, that’s my life not hers.

        • Brynn says:

          Oh, for sure, it just had such a negative tone it sounded like you were talking shit.

          You could afford to be kinder to yourself.

          • Aletheia says:

            Depression and all that, doesn’t leave much niceness at all to be kind to ones’ self after having to deal with life’s daily shite… :/

          • Alveary says:

            Yeah- I think self-deprecation is just my knee-jerk reaction to the irrational desire for external validation of my interests. Thanks, & glad to hear you found common ground with your co-worker.

    • VeryOff says:

      That’s not actually true. Pretty much all of the Game Devs I know are playing it and they are as old as 52.

          • Gaybeard says:

            I mean they’re predisposed to be interested since they chose games as their career path when liking video games was nowhere near the mainstream.

          • hanbanjo says:

            I’m dating a game dev and he basically only played till level 5 to try and battle someone and then stopped playing. It doesn’t fucking matter. Some people like it and some people don’t.

          • VeryOff says:

            I think the same type of people who get upset about pokemon go are the same type of people who get upset at trends like “pet” rocks and The Macarena. I really can’t be bothered to be even mildly annoyed at these things when the world is full of tragedy and atrocity. I’m not even talking about the RNC. Catch all the fuckin pokemons; just don’t send another drone or behead a child.

    • WhoAmI says:

      People wayyy past 30 are playing that, lemme tell you. I know a woman past 60 who works for a Pokémon website and plays Pokémon GO. She’s not the exception.
      I’m pretty sure Coke is just fed up with all the attention given to it, as I am.

      • Gaybeard says:

        Point taken, I stand corrected. Though I was trolling a teeny bit.

        I don’t understand why you’d be fed up with it, it’s harmless enough. My old friend was in town for the weekend and he got me playing it because he was having fun and using it to connect to people. It’s not really my thing, especially because I’m a bit misanthropic, but I don’t begrudge anyone their enjoyment.

        • WhoAmI says:

          It’s not about the game (which is probably the best investment Nintendo made for years, even tho not the truest to the “Nintendo spirit”), but the coverage it gets. People on the news say stupid shit about it. It’s today’s Thing You Have To Have An Opinion About Even Tho It’s Too Bland To Have An Opinion About (TM). The reactions to it are wayyyy too extreme given how unfinished of a game experience (it’s just a pretty alpha as of now let’s be honest) and how uninspired of an idea it actually is.

          Maybe it’s just me, I’ve been very intimate with Pokémon-related media and web content. I suppose that’s how it feels whenever the medias talk about anything you know vaguely about and that they clearly can’t even begin to grasp. Whatever.

  2. Whiskeytangofoxtrot says:

    Brilliant response about David Cronenberg directing 2016. So apt for this moment in time. One of the many reasons I adore you Coke!

  3. wrkrb says:

    Pokemon comes up and no one mentions that a sign needed to be placed outside of Auschwitz asking people not to play there? I see some positive benefits to the game but people could hardly pay attention to driving or crossing the street pre-Pokemon. This feels like the largest virtual intrusion into the physical world of my lifetime and I fear that it will only decrease situational awareness.

    • VeryOff says:

      That decrease in situational awareness actually arrives with its own increase in situational awareness. People are being forced to consciously make a decision as to which reality is appropriate. It’s more opportunity than tragedy. Better start going to the pokegym and flexing your virtual muscles because there’s a whole fuckload of reality upheaval coming your way in 2017. So get used to overlapping realities, the post modernists only had the vaguest idea of what it would really mean.

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