I don’t want to find enlightenment I just want to find happiness.
Okay, but they’re both in the same place.
My mom keeps texting me to call me a “whore.” What do I do?
Would it be irreversibly creepy if I had a threesome with my sister and her husband?
Yes. Irreversible and creepy. You picked the two perfect words.
Immediately after my best friend passed away I fucked my boyfriend’s best friend. I can’t tell if or how the two are correlated.
Your grief crystalized in the form of shitty behavior. It’s a pretty specific thing to have done, so I’m guessing there’s an angry, fucked-up part of you that figured if you have to lose your best friend, then your boyfriend does as well. That’s probably how the two are correlated.
Do you have to put selling your panties and egg donations on your IRS shit?
If your donor clinic issued you a 1099 (and they probably did) then you should definitely report that income. If it’s only an occasional thing and you’re not using PayPal, then I wouldn’t worry so much about the panty money.
Why do people even bother with an exclusive monogamous relationship if they’re just going to spend the entire three years cheating without any remorse? What’s the appeal in that?
It was never an exclusive monogamous relationship. It was merely the primary relationship that provided some measure of security and the foundation from which your ex could experience the thrill of cheating. You can’t see the appeal in that because you’re not a sociopath. Consider that a good thing.
My father died from cancer about three and a half years ago. I’m getting married next summer, and I’m nervous that I’m going to fall apart on my wedding day because he won’t be there. Any ideas on how to make it suck a little less?
Include him in your plans. Talk with him about all of it, and make sure everyone else does too. You’ll fall apart a few times beforehand, but that’s okay. The only way you’ll fall apart on the actual day is if you continue to believe that he’s not deeply a part of it. He is, and he’ll be there, so save a place for him.
I’ve thought about it a lot, and I think the reason I’ve avoided going to a therapist isn’t self-loathing or contempt for therapy, but the knowledge that I’d make the therapist deeply uncomfortable. My life is awful and unfixable.
Oh, please. You’re not that interesting. Go ahead and try to make a therapist uncomfortable. I dare you.
My mind hasn’t been this clear for years. It’s very soothing, and yet there’s this little hum of something in the back of my head that just won’t go away.
Yes. I’ve mentioned this before, but that’s what I call cosmic background anxiety. It’s a low-level existential angst that’s always there, and you only feel it when all the other noise and static is gone.
Is suicide selfish?
Um, yeah. By definition.
Do I really need my soul?
If you believe you have one, then yeah.
Are you watching fucking Westworld!?
Holy shit, yes. It’s beyond amazing.
Are you happier now than 5 years ago?
Yes, much. Thanks for asking.