Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Is it over?
Fuck no.

Pleaseee post another monthly playlist!! Hope you’re doing cool secret shit.
Yeah, here’s a new long-overdue playlist.

What is the difference between giving up and letting go?
It’s the difference between submission and surrender.

Why am I so upset that the guy who dumped me because he was “too busy to date” now has a Tinder?
Because you take shit personally when shit isn’t about you.

I got into McGill, and I’m French so I can pay low tuition, should I leave the US to go to Canada for college?
McGill is a great school. If you can handle the weather up there, absolutely.

One year ago today he told me that he loved me for the first time. Tomorrow he leaves for Italy, permanently. We decided to split when he goes, and it’s the right decision, but why does it feel like I’ll never be in love again?
Because that’s what it’s supposed to feel like right now. Enjoy the pain. It’s all part of the adventure.

Did you ever foresee the day when you’d agree with Dubya?
Ugh. I’m so fucking pissed that Donald Trump is giving George W. Bush the opportunity to become an elder statesman.

Has Trump diminished CQ? I feel like it would be business as usual on this site if Hillary was President 🙁
It’s not our dumbfuck president. I’ve got real life shit going on. Most of it’s good, but incredibly draining. At some point in 2017 it will probably go back to business as usual, but for now, I can only give you what I got.

My mom and some of her boyfriends molested me growing up. I’m 22 now and planning to meet her and kill her. Why shouldn’t I?
You won’t get away with it, and she isn’t worth spending the rest of your life incarcerated.

Do you think being intelligent makes it more difficult to find a life partner?
No, but being stupid might make it easier.

My boyfriend said that he doesn’t have sex because he loves me: “sex is more animal than that.” I can’t articulate how I feel about that, but I don’t think it’s good. What do I think of it? What do I do?
He’s either bullshitting you because he’s got serious sexual issues, or he’s telling the truth because he’s got serious sexual issues. Either way, break up with him. He ain’t worth the trouble.

Is it inherently conceited to think “I could do better” as regards sexual/romantic partners?
Only if you can’t.

I did it. I broke up with him. What’s more, I won’t be leaving in the middle of the night with a backpack. I’m standing my ground. I live here. Thank you for your silent support.
Proud of you.

I feel super fucking lame for being as in love with my boyfriend as I am.
No you don’t.

Why would a black guy continue to text a white girl who is obviously fetishizing him?
Because pussy.

Who the hell did Dolly Parton vote for?
Hillary.

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45 thoughts on “On fun-sized advice

  1. Commenter 43 says:

    Sometimes checking in is rewarded! I hope your real life shit is empowering you and not dragging you down. And that it’s not distracting you from your life mission. Now don’t be a stranger.

  2. Feetish says:

    It’s gross for people to fetishize each other. However, isn’t it possible that he also could be fetishizing her? Or is that not a thing?

    • The Coquette says:

      It’s a thing, and it’s certainly possible, but remember, this is a very colloquial use of the term fetish. The more accurate term is racial objectification, and yeah, it can go both ways.

  3. Elsie says:

    The pain is part of the adventure – Gawd, it took me 20 years to figure that out, and 10 more to learn to not avoid it! New adventures are usually more fun than broken hearts hurt. I think that’s included in the phrase “embrace the fucking change”?

  4. janesgotagun says:

    “Is it over? ”

    I wish. Ugh … small hands magee & glavnoye … whoops i mean wikileaks have fractured this nation’s collective psyche past 1 1/2 weeks

  5. Ben says:

    McGill person – you should go. McGill is a top-school without the baggage of an Ivy, and Montreal is a spectacular city. You’d pay ten times as much to study at a similar school in the US, and you’d probably be living in like Connecticut, soooo

  6. AJT says:

    @McGill question: It’s a great way to get out of the U.S., so I’d say go for it! Montreal has beautiful (although humid) summers! Absolutely gorgeous.

  7. Soooooo says:

    The mother molested her daughter with her boyfriends? I wasn’t ready to read that today. I didn’t expect to read shit on here today, but certainly not that.

    I’ve started finding george bush attractive and I almost missed him. I immediately felt ashamed. It’s just his fast reflexes when he dodged the shoe that was thrown at him…hot.

    because pussy is the answer to most questions about men.

  8. VeryOn says:

    I want to put some topspin on this ball so the poster doesn’t feel like they can hit it back.

    re:”meet her and kill her. Why shouldn’t I?”
    Let’s just pretend you really are the fucking criminal genius with stacks of money that would somehow get away with it.

    I’ll fucking tell you why.
    Because doing it won’t fix you.
    You will not get that piece of you back, or more accurately, you couldn’t fill that bit of your life in with a backhoe and a new family.
    It will never be right.
    It will never be okay.

    I’m not a therapist, but I’m going to guess that the best you will ever do is realize that your mom and boyfriends are completely fucked up, sick, horrible people that aren’t worth any space in your thoughts. And the sooner you can put open road between you and that situation, the better.

    Because one day you’ll wake up and realize you haven’t thought about it in a long time. And that same day, you just might realize you’re a good person and you’ll laugh at how bad a person you would have to be to kill someone. I have no idea what it will take to make you feel whole again. Maybe you won’t. But the one thing you will be able to do is feel that you’re in control of your life.

    But hey, if you want to imagine a million ways to kill them all. That’s totally solid entertainment.

    But that is all it is. Entertainment.

    Put them in every video game you play. Fucking run down an entire city full of those cunts in GTA. Make sims that look like them and leave them in the pool pissing themselves to death.

    Please just realize that at some point, even that is empty and move on.

    • Soooooo says:

      I hate to even be negative but I’m going to say it anyway. I have no idea how anyone could get passed something so fucking fucked up. I’m still mad about $21 I lost when I was 11. I wish there was something anyone could do for you short of erasing your memory. I really feel for you. God I do. Just keep living and make enough good memories to outweigh those bad ones. As a mom, I’m sorry that happened to you from the bottom of my existence and I wish I could hug the pain out of u (as corny as that sounds). That bitch is rotting in her own personal hell every moment of her life and killing her would free her from her worthless, awful existence. I hope she lives her terrible, painful, lonely life for another 100 years, dies and lives another horrible life for all eternity.

      • Holly says:

        Sometimes you don’t get past it. You just find something that makes it worth carrying the dead weight for a long, long time, you keep looking until you do, or you take a shortcut to the universal endpoint destination because everyone has their limits.

        At this write-in: I’ve been there. Five years ago, I was going to buy a gun and end his life because I knew that he’d ended mine. The “criminal justice system” had given him a slap on the wrist – felony minimum – as far as I saw it.

        There’s nowhere to shelve that kind of pain, when you don’t know how to reconcile the outcome of what happened with a world you can live safely in. That’s a bone-deep hurt that radiates back out in some way no matter how you try to defuse it. When there’s nobody there to be subject to the fallout and rage but yourself and/or them, after a certain point it’s healthier to choose them.

        But DQ is right; they don’t deserve to steal your future along with your past.

        Five years later, I’m here. I’m about to graduate college. I’m getting married in the fall. I got my first dog last year. There are days when it’s beautiful to be alive. I’m more fragile than the person who died all those years ago, but I’m stronger, too, and I take a lot less for granted.

        I’ll never know who I would’ve grown up to be in a very different world, but I can still carve out a little stability and happiness in this one. It’s imperfect, but it’s the rest of my life and I’m here to live it. You deserve at least that much.

        If I had been able to track my assailant down, I don’t know that I would’ve regretted it with how far down the hole I was then, but there is so much that I would never have been able to do and be after that. Someone gave me good advice when this was all burning through me; even if he’s only in prison for half a decade, my main attacker is still a felon, and it will ruin his fucking life.

        It would ruin yours too, and you still have time left. If you’re sending messages like these to people from your home computer, you’re not going to get away with committing this murder AND walking free. Please don’t annihilate yourself to annihilate them.

        And I don’t know your situation, but if these wastes of oxygen are still walking free outside of prison, the system is terrifying, but it’s worth being a whistleblower and changing that.

        I hope you find peace.

  9. easygoingmister says:

    Regarding the playlist….Kiss You All Over…whoa…what a flashback.

    Late 70s/early 80s. I was probably jr high aged–lifting forgotten High Life ponies and Winstons after the adults were too much into their own buzz to notice.

    Daydreaming secretly of the man I’d kiss all over one day….til the night closes in…

  10. Sure, why not says:

    Possible McGiller: GO. Bearing the weather is about to be a global day-to-day. I’ve never met a McGill graduate who wasn’t cool and informed, and Montreal is my favourite city in Canada.

    • VeryOn says:

      You guys keep calling it cold…like that’s a clear enough picture. If someone hasn’t experienced it yet, you need to use your words.

      Cold. So cold that even with gloves on it feels like your fingers have no flesh. your boney hands creak as you squeeze your hands tightly. And your face becomes a porcelain mask of pain.

      Would THAT be a good description?

      • Soooooo says:

        I went to school in Michigan. Cold is when in any other state, they would’ve cancelled school for the day. Not Michigan. They say, “you knew how the weather was before you decided to enroll here.” Cold like Canada goose weather. Like long underwear, leggings, jogging pants, undershirt, sweater, and another sweater, coat, hat, scarf, gloves, and some days I wish I had goggles. Cold like walking around ur house fully clothed with a sweater. Cold like maybe I should train my dog to use a puppy pad. The dog pees immediately and takes a shit and then looks at u like ok bitch lets go back inside lol. It’s 21 degrees, yay it’s warm type cold. I’m black, I feel like this is relevant lol. I hate cold.

        I actually took majority online classes just to avoid leaving my house. Any semester I had to actually be in the cold, I was depressed. My friends would visit me like hey lets go somewhere. I’m looking like u need to leave immediately with ur crazy ideas lol. I’ve skipped genetics, anatomy, physiology, microbiology, I don’t give a fuck I’ll study at home, it’s too fucking cold. If ur like me, please take this into consideration. I gained 10 pounds in 3 months because I ordered carry out to avoid going to the grocery store. Michigan is beautiful in the summer, but winter, fuck all that.

        • VeryOn says:

          YES! That kind of cold!
          Cold like I saw my breath turn into snowfucking flakes, cold.
          Cold like Ice forms on the inside of your triple pane windows, cold.
          I don’t care about lake effect cold; Boston gets OCEAN effect!

  11. K says:

    So honored to see my school complimented by Coke! I’m a second year at McGill, I was an apprehensive American too and I can wholeheartedly say fucking go for it. The school itself can be a sink or swim type of institution, but Montreal (even with the weather) is more than worth it.

    • G says:

      Was it easy to adjust to Canada? I’m from California so I’m worried it’ll be too big a change and be overwhelming

      • N says:

        I’m finishing my first year at McGill and I had more culture shock than I expected coming from the U.S. (perhaps since I didn’t expect it, it made it more shocking). But, I would say half way through second semester I finally feel like I have my bearings and I love it. As Coke would say: embrace the fucking change.

        • K says:

          If you read Coke and go to McGill I want to meet you, honestly. Totally felt that same (very necessary!) adjustment second semester last year.

      • K says:

        Apologies for the late reply! I’m from Pennsylvania so the weather change wasn’t too bad for me personally, but I actually have 4 very close friends here from California and they all absolutely love it here/adjusted well. (They definitely do not take going home on breaks for granted, though.) Also, keep in mind that the school year starts relatively early here (very beginning of September) but ends VERY early (mid to late April) in comparison to most American schools, so you get a nice, long and hopefully warm summer break. 🙂

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