Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

If you claim that everything really means nothing, then why give a flying fuck whether or not “those whores” got what they had coming?
Because existential nihilism isn’t a license to be an asshole.

You shouldn’t tell people to kill themselves, even if you’re joking.

Why not?

Would you concede that sometimes you’re a cunt just for the sake of being a cunt?

I don’t have to concede shit.

Do you ever worry that all the topless pictures you send to guys will come back to haunt you?

It won’t be your topless pictures that come back to haunt you. It will be your credit score.

What do you think of online dating? It seems like just one big meat market.

Life is one big meat market. Online dating is just a picture menu.

How do you know if your life story is interesting enough to be a book?

If you’re a good writer, any life story is interesting enough to be a book.

How long is the “normal” amount of time to be single?

That’s good. The first step is putting it in quotes. The next step is realizing that there’s no such thing.

Is any amount of money in a job offer worth moving to Sarasota, FL while single at age 31?

Yes, but I doubt that’s what they’re offering you.

Am I terrible for thinking my girlfriend is really ugly when I wake up in the morning next to her, seeing as she has no makeup on?


No matter what, whoever I date starts to look ugly to me after a while. Is this normal? How do I stop this from happening?

You’re confusing what they look like for what they are like. Even worse, you’re probably confusing what they are like for what you are like.


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