Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Why can’t I seem to stay in a relationship past 3 or 4 months?
Because that’s the shelf life of bullshit.

The girl I’m casually seeing just told me no one’s ever been able to make her come. What should I do?
Tell her that it’s perfectly okay and that there’s nothing wrong with her. Tell her that you appreciate her openness and vulnerability. Don’t take it as a challenge, and don’t put any pressure on her to have an orgasm. In other words, don’t make it about you.

A man that I met while traveling in Europe is launching a Bitcoin exchange, and wants to launch a social networking site in tandem with it. I am a community manager between gigs. He recently offered to buy a plane ticket and pay my salary for the next two months before I start my Masters in the fall. This doesn’t seem like a real thing.
Yeah, unless your dad is Liam Neeson, you might wanna consider a little extra due diligence before accepting this gig.

What’s the point of hatefucks? Like, to take a food analogy, if you hate carrots, why eat some when you can have tomatoes or beets?
Your analogy confuses hatefucking for actually hating to fuck. A better food analogy would be that a hatefuck is like a pie eating contest — it’s aggressive, messy, and it requires that you momentarily suspend your dignity, but every once in a while it’s fun to engorge yourself without having to give a shit about table manners.

My girlfriend and I are thinking about going to a strip club. Neither of us has been to one before, so we have no idea about proper strip club etiquette. Any hard-and-fast rules?
Keep your expectations low, keep your hands to yourself, and when in doubt, tip. (That goes for both of you.)

You have no idea how badly I want to give up.
Yes I do.

I had a dream last night that I spent a day hanging out with you and Donna Meagle.
Did you treat yourself?

Do you think Hooters is demeaning to women?
No. I think fast food chains that pay single mothers minimum wage are demeaning to women. Hooters is just tacky.


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