Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Is fame a drug?
Nope. Fame is a disease.

Is there a difference between Miley twerking and Eric Clapton playing delta blues music?
Yes. Even within the context of cultural appropriation, there is a difference between crass exploitation and masterful homage.

Is emotional closure a lie?
It can be. Usually it’s just an excuse to try and fuck you one last time.

Is it ever acceptable for your “closest friends” to still talk to your ex if they were friends with him beforehand?
Sure. Your friends should be sensitive to your feelings, but unless your ex did something horrible, it’s not your place to demand an end to prior friendships.

Thoughts on the 40 Days of Dating experiment?
I’m down for a threesome.

Where should I hide the body?
Hiding is for things you eventually want found.

Did you rent a car for your road trip because you own a Tesla or something?
Ha! I wish I owned a Tesla. Renting a car for long road trips is actually quite a bit cheaper than driving my own vehicle. (You gotta think in terms of cost per mile.)

Are mid-life crises inevitable?
Nah. You could always die first.

I always want to ask you really serious questions but i only end up asking things that end up in your fun-sized advice posts. “Go ahead, be vulnerable” is really intimidating to me for some reason.
It’s not a challenge. It’s an invitation.

The depth of your stupidity astounds me. How anyone is feeble-minded enough to come to you for advice is beyond me. I guess even the lesser patricians are gods among plebs.
Wow. Just so you know, it’s impossible not to read that in the voice of the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.


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