I wear plaid shirts, and have been ever since I learned to dress myself. Does this make me an asshole?
It’s not the shirts.

My girlfriend of 3 years fell out of love with me and wouldn’t even grant me one last goodbye fuck. She’s a prick, right?
Nope. You are.

What’s your myers briggs type?
BAMF

How do you pronounce your name?
With a capital C.

How did you do it? How did you get out of podunk?
I drove.

I know you’re not religious, and this question isn’t meant to be taken in any other way except as in a dinner party type conversation… What would you sell your soul to the devil for?
A better soul.

How would you define masculinity? What does a man act like, versus, say, an overgrown fratboy?
You’re confusing masculinity for maturity. The two have very little in common.

Is hooking up the only way to start a relationship?
Nope. It’s not even a very good one.

At what age do you kinda need to get your shit together?
The sooner the better.