Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Every time I come to your site and there’s nothing new, I feel like crying a little bit.
Dry your fucking tears.

What is your definition of middlebrow sentimentality?

The holiday edition of the SkyMall catalog.

Is it morally sound to give sexual favors (BJs, etc) at the urging of your boss in return for a raise or other work-related incentives?

I suppose it’s fine if you want to be a prostitute, but you’re a fool to take anything other than cash up front.

God, I just want love, but I’m not ready to give it.

There is no god, you whiny little bitch.

What type of masters degree should I get if I want to work in the entertainment industry?

Save your fucking money and go get a gig in an agency mailroom.

How do you handle staying above the superficial culture of LA? It seems like it could really fuck with a person’s mind.

The superficial culture of LA is a modern myth. That’s not to say it doesn’t exist. Hell, myths can be deadly, and Los Angeles can definitely fuck with a person’s mind. The trick to staying above it all is to treat it like any other myth: recognize it, respect its origins, but never actually believe in it.

What’s your opinion of Cat Marnell and all the attention she’s been getting?

My opinion of Cat is one of guarded optimism. She’s obviously a hustler with a damn good publicist, which is fine if she eventually writes an opus worthy of her persona. We’ll see if her work lives up to all the hype.

I just found out that I fell in love with a guy who has been using the Straussian PUA techniques on me for the last six months. WWCD?

That book came out seven fucking years ago. If you couldn’t see that simple shit coming a mile away, you deserve exactly what you got.

What are you going to be for halloween?

I don’t have the slightest clue. Honestly, I’m still having trouble dealing with the fact that it’s October. (Where the fuck did this year go?)


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