Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

Dear Coquette,

To what extent should a partner’s romantic past matter in a relationship?
Only to the extent that either of you can’t leave it there.

What do you think about marrying your first love? Does everyone have to go through heartbreak?

Do what makes you happy, but you’re a fool if you think marrying your first love is any kind of protection against heartbreak.

Why do I hate you?

Because something about who you think I am is a threat to your identity.

According to one of my friends, wearing black to a wedding is breaking some sort of fashion law. But I already bought my dress.

Yeah, people don’t like being reminded of how similar weddings are to funerals.

You make it seem like all relationships inevitably end. Do they?

Everything ends.

Do you think narcissism is necessary to be a good artist?

No, but narcissism is necessary to convince yourself that you are a good artist.

Am I a bitch for not breaking up with my boyfriend until I have enough money saved to get my own place? Or am I being smart? Right now I’m kinda bouncing between the two.

What you’re being is emotionally dishonest, which has very little to do with being a bitch or being smart.

I haven’t come out to my parents mainly because I vividly remember my mom telling me that she “likes gays, just not in our family.” Is it awful of me to put off telling them until after they pay for college?

If your parents would cut you off for coming out of the closet, then you should probably hold out for some therapy money too.

If you’re in an open relationship and start seeing someone else, should you tell them upon first meeting that there is someone else?

Tell them before you start to mislead them.

How can I get friends that like me and that I like?

Like yourself first.

If you have cancer, should you not date?

Do whatever the hell you want.

Why do I want every guy to fall in love with me, despite the fact I’m already in a relationship and in love?

Because you lived with your mother after your parents got divorced.

Is watching porn bad for you?

It’s fine. Just don’t let it get in the way of other things.

How do I take myself, my sexuality, and my desirability seriously enough to go out of my way to meet people expressly for the purpose of dating them?

You don’t have to take any of it seriously.

How weird is it for a 25 year-old to still sleep with a stuffed animal?

It must be nice not having any real problems in your life.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *