Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice.

What the fuck do I do with my hands when getting eaten out?
Grab the sheets and get the fuck out of your head.

I’m starting a blog about women who were/are ugly but badass and accomplished. Any women come to mind whom I can include?
You’re an idiot. Stop what you’re doing.

My boyfriend has pictures of his exes saved on his hard drive. It makes me feel shitty. How do I deal?
You weren’t the first. You won’t be the last. Deal with it.

If I’m the empress of my own happiness and that empire is crumbling, what should I do?
Build a new one, bitch.

How do you keep your values and beliefs so close to you? I’ve thought of a thousand ways to word that so I hope you know what I mean.
Never stop testing them.

I just realized that I am the poster child for entitled millenials. I am afraid to start projects because I am afraid to fail at them. How to do move past this?
You are not a poster child for anything. The world doesn’t give a flying fuck if you succeed or fail.

I try to stay active, eat right, volunteer, but I am so unhappy. Are some people just sad for life?
Quit looking for an excuse to keep your head up your ass, and stop looking for happiness on the back of your box of granola.

Have you ever been dumped? Rejected?
Oh yeah. The last time I was in love with a man he broke up with me out of the blue one morning while I was still butt-ass naked.


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