I honestly don’t remember how I came to this conclusion, but sometimes I like the guy I’m with to strangle me during sex.
It took a bit of convincing to get my current boyfriend to try it, which I understand because it’s not exactly the most common practice. I tried to explain it to him, but I couldn’t really. I think it has something to do with being controlled, as well as getting light headed.
Anyway, he tried it, and the next time we had sex he did it without me asking. We both enjoy it and now he often does it without prompting and has no hesitation if I ask him. I’m not stupid. I know my limits and I know when to tell him to stop, and he always listens. And it turns me right the fuck on.
But then I wanted to know where the fuck this came from and why I have this fetish. So I googled autoerotic asphyxiation (because I am WAY too fucking weird about it to speak to anyone who’d know about it, not that I’d even know who to ask) and I found a few advice sites and read up on wikipedia about it. That pretty much made me feel like shit. The sites gave the impression that it’s practiced by fucked up men who always end up dead from taking it to far. Wikipedia said it’s a paraphilia. It made me feel like a fucking freak.
My question is; am I? Is this just completely wrong? Should I take the advice of the “Go Ask Alice” page and fantasize about it instead of doing it, lest I lose control and wind up dead? Coke talk, I really value your advice. Please give me your brutally honest opinion.
Don’t get freaked out by words like paraphilia, or by the boring old men who think they have the authority to draw the lines for the ideological norm.
By the way, there’s a difference between autoerotic asphyxiation and erotic asphyxiation. Those prefixes make a difference in your freakiness. You’re not into stringing yourself up while masturbating. That’s not your thing, so don’t worry about winding up like David Carradine.
You like to get choked a little during sex. Big fucking deal. You don’t even get a merit badge for that PG-13 shit. You’ve got a partner that you trust and some common sense. Use both, and you’ll be fine.
(Oh, and I checked out “Go Ask Alice.” Yikes. The school nurse got a website. I suppose it’s fine for purely factual advice, but never forget it’s pushing a heavily sanitized institutional agenda. When it comes to any real moral or ethical dilemma, it’s only gonna give you bullshit and fake smiles.)