My husband killed himself four months ago. I’m trying to embrace the change. I really am. I’m going to therapy and a suicide bereavement group. I’m taking care of the finances and paperwork and bureaucratic bullshit. I’m talking to my friends. And I went on a date last week. And I really enjoyed it. Just dinner and conversation, but it felt so good. He asked if I wanted to get together again, and I said yes. The attention and the human connection felt really good. I was happy for the first time in a long time. The guy knows my situation. I’ve told him I’m not ready for a relationship, or even physical intimacy. Is this ok?
Yes. It’s okay.
It’s okay to enjoy yourself. It’s okay to go as slowly as you need. (Or as quickly, for that matter. It would be perfectly fine if physical intimacy was something that you needed.)
There’s no right or proper way to grieve, and the only wrong way is to fall into patterns of behavior that are harmful. You seem like you’ve got your shit together, though. Certainly as well as can be expected under the circumstances.
Shit’s still fresh, though. You know that. This guy probably knows that too, so as long as he’s respectful of your boundaries and your grieving process, let this be whatever it needs to be.
Take care of yourself. Be good to yourself. Live your life.