Fun-Sized Advice

On more fun sized advice.

what’s the exact right amount of hard to get?
This hard.

How long is too long to fuck a married man before becoming a cliche?
This long.

How large do you think your penis would be if you had one?
This big.

are we allowed to objectify men?
I’ll allow it.

Favourite place for a vacation?

On top of Jon Hamm.

You are drunk, horny, or both.
You bet your ass I am.

Realising your complete and utter insignificance in the grand scheme of things. Wisdom or depression?

I have a biology presentation tomorrow and I’m a nervous nelly, how do I relax and make it seem like I know what I’m doing?
Not give a fuck.

What do I do about being a young girl who’s only attracted to older women?
Get a fake ID.

Why don’t people do mdma everyday like they do coke?
Serotonin ain’t dopamine.

What’s your poison?

Natalie Portman or Atlanta de Cadenet? and why?
Love ‘em both, and it really depends on whether the extra ticket is for Broadway box seats or backstage Coachella.

What’s your favourite genre of porn?
Anything by Jack the Zipper, Joanna Angel, or Andrew Blake.

Oh come on, there’s nothing less sexy than porn. It’s so boring. No ok, politicians are usually less sexy. But you get the point.
Yes, I get the point. You get easily bored unless you have everyone’s undivided attention, so you pout and act too cool to watch other people fuck. There’s one like you at every party, babe.

dude i know im cleaner than you since i dont fuck various men slash women and the fact i dont blow rails off rock hard cock.
Whatever, dude. I wash my ass with fancier soap than you.


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