Fun-Sized Advice

On more fun-sized advice

How do I spin “the startup I’m working at has top-level executive and management problems that are causing it to implode” as I search for a new job in a different legal department?
Perhaps try “Opportunity for growth with my current employer has reached its potential, and I’m eager to devote my time and energy to a company with a clear vision and stable leadership.”

Is it true what they say, that creativity is like a muscle? If you work hard enough, anyone can develop it?
I suppose creativity is like a muscle, but don’t kid yourself. Some folks are just born with more than others, and no matter how hard you work, there are natural limits to what you’ll be able to develop. (Oh, and taking the right combination of drugs definitely helps, but for some reason our culture considers that cheating.)

If we’re supposed to be getting rid of Ego, is there any situation in which we should “have our pride”?
The egoless version of pride is dignity. Try having that instead.

ugh dating in the Bay Area is just as obnoxious as in LA, the ego is just a different flavor. But I met a good person who has his shit together and I like everything about him except one thing. One very. small. thing. Now what?
I’m much less concerned about your indictment of his penis size than I am about your lukewarm use of “good” and “like.” Is “great” and “love” a possibility with this guy? It just feels like you’re settling. Plus, the phrase “has his shit together” feels like a red flag. Not for him. For you. It’s code for the fact that you tend to date losers, which clues me into why you might be settling.

Any advice for watching your best friends destroy each other in a failing marriage that they both refuse to give up on? I’m keeping out of it (was stung earlier) but they’ve become impossible emotional sponges.
Yeah, you’re not keeping out of it. They won’t let you. You’re basically in an emotional threesome, and it’s time you learned how to set a proper fucking boundary. Tell them to go get a couples therapist. Find one for them if you have to, because you’re done being their third party. Don’t let either of them bring anymore mess into your house. Be firm. Be rude if necessary, but refuse to be a passenger on their sinking ship.

A close friend is about to get married. She hasn’t known him all that long, and is still in the honeymoon period of the relationship (she said so herself). They’ve never had a single fight. She can’t even name one annoying habit he has. She’s always been a very rational person, and now she seems to be under some bizarre love spell. I don’t trust him at all. I feel like this marriage is a mistake, but I know I can’t say anything to her without ruining our friendship. But I’m dreading the wedding and what will come after. How do I get through it?
It really depends on why you don’t trust him. How good are your instincts with shit like that? Is he dangerous? A little shady? A garden variety asshole? Or is it possible that your mistrust is a manifestation of jealousy over your fading friendship? Personally, I wouldn’t say shit unless you have hard evidence that he poses some kind of risk to her health or safety. Otherwise, this is her mistake to make. It happens all the time.

Superficial question: have you ever been at the Burning Man? You sound like the kind of person who has almost founded it. Just curious.
I can’t tell if this is an insult or a compliment. A good portion of my former LA crew were burners. I’ve helped build art cars and I’ve counseled countless costume choices, but I could never go myself because the week always landed during my busiest season. I suppose it’s a subculture I understand from a distance, which is kind of the way I prefer it.

Should I dry clean these jeans? They say I should, but they’re jeans.
Call your mother.


17 thoughts on “On more fun-sized advice

  1. Emilio Lizardo says:

    What combination of drugs? Alcohol/benzos for verbal facility, amphetamine for abstract and racing thoughts and microdose of LSD for holistic and visual creativity?

      • Dime-sized says:


        The whole tab is indeed fun, but that should be a rare glimpse into other possible worlds.

        Microdosing, or even less mathematical small doses, can yield some productive insights and energy. I’ve seen intellectual and physical benefits.

    • Gluten Free Toaster Waffles says:

      Yeah, I haven’t found a startup yet that I’d actually want to work for. I’m on the job market, so I know I’m supposed to be happy to work for anyone who wants to employ me, but startups all seem to be high-pressure, frantic, and will grind you into a husk and spit out the remains.

  2. Noq_noq says:

    Leave off the “and stable leadership.” Any negativity can bite you in the ass…especially if it gets back to your current workplace.

    • S says:

      Really a personal preference! However, I wouldn’t correlate size and satisfaction too much. The best sexual partners I’ve had haven’t had the biggest dicks, one was pretty small infact, but he was bloody fantastic.

  3. Gluten Free Toaster Waffles says:

    In my experience, “creativity” doesn’t really exist, the way people think of it. I’ll speak about music, since that’s what I know about – there is nothing new under the sun, only new combinations. The more you know about how to solve music problems, and how other people did, the easier it is to come up with novel combinations.

  4. Alex says:

    Top-level executive and management problems are implied when you say “I work for a start up.” If you are looking for work at other start ups, be careful what you say – the gossip mill is the only thing in the start up community that is efficient. Good luck with the job search!

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