On not waiting around

So I dated this guy for 2 and a half months or so. It was pretty great. Just as I was getting comfortable and starting to see it as a relationship that might actually last long term, shit starts to happen. Basically, he finds out that a girl he used to hook up with last semester got roofied and raped, which resulted in her relapsing on coke and failing out of school. The problem is that he still has feelings for her, despite knowing that it would never work out between them. After several days of being miserable over not being able to do anything to help her, he confesses that he still loves her, and says that he can’t be in a relationship with me right now. That’s fair – I can’t be in a relationship with someone who is in love with someone else either. So we agreed to just be friends.

I can’t blame him and I can’t be mad, because I feel he was well within his rights to try to move on, even if it leaves me feeling a little deceived. But I still can’t deny the fact that I still have feelings for him and I still care about him a lot. It’s hard to get over a relationship when I feel it never got to play itself out, instead being cut off by external events.

What do I do? Do I cut him out of my life until I get over him? Do I continue to hang out with him as friends, (because we do get along amazingly and we have fun together) while always missing what used to be? Do I wait around for him to finally get over this chick and take me back? Help me out, Coke Talk.

You’re awfully fucking noble. Good for you, I suppose. Still, you should feel free to have a moment of righteous seething anger at this guy for pushing you out of a moving vehicle so he could swing back around and pick up last semester’s bag of crazy.

Wake up and smell the douchebag. The relationship did play itself out. It wasn’t cut off by external events. He didn’t die in a fiery plane crash. He fucking broke up with you.

At this point he’s not a friend. He’s an ex, an ex who’s obviously got a thing for damaged goods, so unless you suddenly become a dysfunctional drama queen, don’t expect him to come looking to take you back.

Don’t wait around. Have some dignity and move on.


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