Advice

On relationship training wheels.

One drunken night a friend and I hooked up. Knowing about his track record and how he talks about his sexcapades I figured our friendship would be fine. Our once long, fun, interesting conversations don’t exsist any more. We’ve never been really close, but we have been (like I said) friends for a little over two years. He rarely talks to me now and can’t look me in the eye anymore. I was just wondering if you could articulate what you think his deal is.

He’s a boy, not a man. Not a big deal, really. He’s just not ready to handle a friendship with benefits.

A bit of his male ego is at stake now that you’ve hooked up, and he’s probably a bit confused about his feelings for you. That’s what’s leading to the avoidance behavior.

If you want to salvage the fun stuff, you’ll need to explicitly tell him what to expect in this kind of situation. Spell it out for him. Keep it playful.

The kid needs a fucking map, so do him a favor and just tell him what to feel. Once you guys get comfortable again, you can take off the training wheels.

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