I’m so tired of being wrong all the time. I literally can not do a single thing without my boyfriend telling me I did it wrong, or saying that I shouldn’t have, or getting annoyed with me for no reason. I shower him with affection! I buy him things all the time, I put out regularly, and I clean up around the house. He’s stressed out because of money issues right now but there’s a fine line between acting out of stress and acting like an asshole. I can’t tell him that he’s getting on my last nerve because it blows up into a ridiculous fight that I would rather shoot myself than endure. What can I do to make him realize that he’s making me feel like a worthless pile of shit?
He’s not making you feel like a worthless pile of shit. You are.
Sure, he’s acting like an asshole, but you’re the one who puts up with him, and you’re the one who gives him power over your self worth.
The very statement that “I’m so tired of being wrong all the time” is a symptom of the core problem. You’re accepting the premise that you are, in fact, wrong. Instead, what you should be saying is “I’m so tired of my boyfriend being a condescending prick all the time.”
I could tell you to just break up with him and move on, but that wouldn’t address the underlying issue you have with giving men power over your emotional and psychological state.
You’ve gotta stop doing that. Don’t put up with his shit. Recognize that his behavior is unacceptable and be strong enough to simply not tolerate it. It’s draw-a-line-in-the-sand time.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you start fighting him about everything. Quite the opposite, actually. You don’t want to fight, he knows that, and he uses it against you when you stand up for yourself. Well, that kind of bullying is unacceptable behavior too.
You don’t have to engage in the fighting. After all, this isn’t about who can scream the loudest. It’s about who has the stronger will. Up to now, it’s been him. No more. Simply leave the room. Get cold and rational on his ass. Trust me, when he can’t push your buttons anymore, it’ll scare him to death.
Once you start enforcing your will and stand up for yourself, two things will happen. He’ll start respecting you, and you’ll start respecting yourself.
At that point, if there’s a problem you won’t need someone like me to tell you to break up with him. You’ll have already done it.
One thought on “On self worth.”
Either he’ll start respecting you and you’ll start respecting yourself, or you’ll start respecting yourself and he’ll start hating you for not collaborating with his delusional superiority.
Either way, the path forward will be clear!