hi, there. this is going to be a little hard for me to write out, but here goes. i was with this guy for about a year, and out of the blue, he breaks up for me. sure, i was broken hearted, but that i could learn to get over. about a month or so later, i had to abort the child my doctor told me i was likely to miscarry. i hold on to feelings of my ex, but i think it’s only because the thought of losing child always brings me back to him, to happier times. i talk to him on occasion, and he is friendly enough, because he knows. but i’m still in love with him. what should i do?

Oh, please. This is a carefully crafted story designed to suck sympathy out of everyone who hears it. I can spot drama queens like you a mile away, and I’m calling bullshit on your pity party.

You got knocked up. Your boyfriend broke up with you. You got an abortion. That’s the chain of events.

Of course, with girls like you nothing’s ever your fault. You’re never accountable for your own decisions and everything comes from out of the blue, so naturally this is all some romantic tribulation.

You want to know what to do? Well for starters, quit characterizing your abortion as an extrinsic manifestation of your failed relationship. That’s an incredibly unhealthy way to process the psychological trauma of terminating a pregnancy.

Next, quit romanticizing the past. It prevents an honest evaluation of what went wrong and cripples your ability to move on.

Finally, accept some responsibility for the choices you make and do everything in your power to fight off a victim mentality.