On teenage break-ups.

I’m seventeen and a couple of months ago I did something which was very painful: I dumped my former boyfried (my first one by the way), who was the typical “perfect in paper” boy and who I loved very much, but with who I had never been in love and didn’t like anymore after four months with him. He was totally devoted to me, he adored me, spoiled me and had told me I was the first girl he had ever fallen in love with. We had an awesome time together, and I dind’t feel guilty at all for not being in love. At the beginning I wasn’t totally sure if I didn’t feel the same anymore, and I told him about it. He said I shouldn’t worry, that I was feeling a bit weird because of the ending of the summer and the pms (which was true, I have a quite horrible pms), that the feeling would go away, and that if it dind’t, we’d work things out. But it didn’t, and after waiting for some absolutely painful weeks (he had to do some exams), I broke up with him. It was the most sincere, amicable and tender breakup you can imagine. He was great, and told me I was one of the best persons he had ever met ad that he would want us to be friends after a while. After a month and a half (!) he sent me an sms telling me he wanted to talk with me, but I told him I wasn’t ready yet. The thing is, even if I am 100% sure of having made the right decision, I still think of him everyday and feel nostalgic and gloomy. I know two months are not a lot of time, but I am a bit scared that this will continue for months and months. Maybe it’s the fact that I wanted him so much as a person, or that he was my first boyfriend, or that I felt so loved by him, but I can’t seem to get over it. Oh, and I would love being friends with him but I don’t think that’s possible. Do you? Any advice/wisdom that will make me feel better? Thanks a lot.

What the fuck? You broke up with him.

Actions have consequences, kiddo. In other words, tough shit. Deal with it.

You’re a fucking teenager, so don’t start with the whole “love but not in love” bullshit. I know that any relationship spanning multiple weekends seems like a major commitment when you still measure time in semesters, but four months is barely long enough for grown-ups to even start using the L word.

You had a great boyfriend. You got bored. You broke it off. Now you’re confused because you don’t have the emotional intelligence to figure out whether you’re heartbroken, regretful, or merely bored for lack of male attention.

Well, too bad. Time to learn from your mistakes and do better on the next boy.

As for “being friends,” it’s up to you whether you want to keep your exes in your life. Don’t kid yourself, though. He’s an ex, not a friend. If you can’t see the difference, then you’re probably not ready to handle it.


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