On teenage relationship tips

My girlfriend always tells me that I don’t pay enough attention to her or I don’t hold her hand often enough and things like that, but I obviously try my hardest to give her attention. It doesn’t really help that she and one of my pretty good friends basically flirt with each other all the time. Something else that also doesn’t help is that she constantly claims that she feels threatened by her best friend who also happens to be my friend that I kissed at a party almost a year ago, before we were even dating. I haven’t done a thing with her since then, but my girlfriend still claims that she feels threatened. How can I make her feel like she gets enough attention so she won’t flirt with my friend and feel threatened by her friend?

Oh, you adorable little teenager. (You’d better be a fucking teenager.) Here are a few things you should learn early:

1. You are not responsible for your girlfriend feeling threatened by her best friend. That’s not about you, even if you kissed her once. Just stay out of it.

2. Notice when your girlfriend wants you to hold her hand. Is it in front of other people, or is it in private when it’s just the two of you? Those are two completely different needs on her part.

3. No amount of attention will change the content of your girlfriend’s character. If she’s the type to flirt with other dudes or talk shit about her best friend to you, that’s not going to change just because you hold her hand a lot.

4. The dude who flirts with your girlfriend all the time? He’s not your friend.

5. Don’t be surprised when this girl suddenly breaks up with you, and don’t wander around asking her or her friends why she ended things. It won’t matter why, and the coolest thing you could possibly do is not give a shit.


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