Best-Of Advice

On that dollar in your pocket

Why’s some motherfucker ask me for a dollar to specifically refill his 42oz big gulp at 7/11 like I just have fucking money to give to him (he said all this yes)? I have to work hard for this money; why does it piss me off so much that someone thinks I’m just there to give it away to them?

It pisses you off because you’re a selfish person who thinks the world revolves around you. It doesn’t, so stop taking every little thing personally. I’m not suggesting you give a dollar to the guy — you ain’t there yet, but at the very least, summon up the few drops of empathy it takes to shake your head no without letting some poor bastard’s very existence anger you. If you really want to improve yourself, watch out for that ego-based Republican instinct to announce to the world that you’re a hardworking taxpayer who earns things. Resist the urge to make comments like, “I have to work hard for this money.” Yes, you are paid a wage in exchange for your labor. Congratulations on grasping the basics of capitalist micro-economics, but saying shit like that to help prove a point is a big red flag that you are an enormous gaping asshole.

The problem with your way of thinking is that you fundamentally believe there’s a difference between you and that bum trying to refill his Big Gulp. You lack compassion and any sense of economic scale, and it prevents you from recognizing that you two motherfuckers are on the same team — Team 7/11, Team 99% — whatever you wanna call it, man. We’re all American peasantry.

I know that makes you uncomfortable. You don’t wanna wear the same jersey as the Big Gulp bums, but you really need to start taking a broader view of the socio-economic system that has you conditioned to direct your anger at the underprivileged. Fuck that shit. The guys asking for a dollar outside the 7/11 aren’t your enemy. Aim your animosity upward. The guys earning net profit off your labor are the ones taking money out of your pocket. That’s your true enemy. That’s who should be pissing you off.


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