On the possibility of a little fundraising

I know you’re super busy, and while we are a secret treasure, we aren’t your priority. But…Forums?

Also, You should have a go fund me or patreon.


Okay, yes. You guys actually are my priority, but it’s not evident at the moment, because I’m super busy writing all sorts of stuff for magazines and blogs in advance of the book release. (Don’t think I’ve forgotten you.)

Also, yes. I still might want to do some kind of forum thing, but more than that, I’ve never really had a professional designer build me a really hot shit version of the website, and I would love for that to be my next big project after the book. (A forum of some kind would probably be folded into that redesign.)

I was able to cobble together this (pretty decent) website solution after getting kicked off of Tumblr, but it was only meant to be temporary. Naturally, a year has already flown by, and what was meant to be a quick fix has turned semi-permanent. I don’t want that. I want a hot shit website.

Now, the problem is that doing it right costs actual money. Quite a bit of money. Money I don’t have. (Contrary to what some of you think, I am not a rich girl.) In fact, just yesterday I had to pony up a bunch of cash I wasn’t planning on spending to keep the site running smoothly, because my traffic continues to grow and grow. I know that’s a good problem to have, but the money part is still a problem.

I’ve looked into Patreon as a potential crowdfunding source, and it looked cool enough for me not to dismiss it outright. What do you guys think? If I put together some kind of campaign to raise enough money to build into a really kick-ass website, would you be willing to donate? I dunno. It feels weird to even ask, but it’s not like I’d just be pocketing the money. We’d all get to benefit from it.

So, yeah. Hit up the comments section and tell me what you think. I’ll be super curious to hear your thoughts.


159 thoughts on “On the possibility of a little fundraising

  1. absurdum says:

    I would love a patreon – I want to be able to support a writer whose work I’ve been enjoying for years. (Also, getting on that pre-order right now.) Patreon would allow for readers to continue to kick in for site maintenance and all that jazz after a redesign, if that’s what you would want. I don’t know if tiered rewards go against the coquette ethos, but that could potentially be cool as well.

    • Guiliana says:

      i say no to tiered rewards. we are all equals and i do not wish to be rewarded for supporting coketalk with money. i would give her money because i want to support the amazing thing she created and that we all get to be a part of, and maybe even see it grow to be something even better. that is already the reward.

      • ALI BABA says:

        Yeah I agree, but I also doubt Coke would do that. I think she’d set something up where you donate if you can/want to, and the fund would be specifically for setting up a new website.

  2. I’d be willing to give my time and talent to help set up and *generally* maintain something like a Discourse forum ( for you, if you’re interested. Six years of great advice and correspondence, and the chance to be a part of your work is easily worth it to me. Either way, best of luck in your pursuit, and let me know if I can be of any service to you at all in the tech department.

    If you don’t feel good about accepting free work, I can still negotiate an extremely discounted rate because you’re awesome and I have a full time job anyway.

    • coskel says:

      I would be happy to provide hosting. I currently host what used to be the r*gr*t*y forums privately, and I do it because its a great group of people. I feel the same way about here.
      I’ve got tons of space and bandwidth.

      • JustThisGirl says:

        Thank you for hosting those forums. One of my all-time favorite blogs.

        Also: Coke: YES. I’m poor as hell right now but I will give you what I have left. In a heartbeat.

      • Strangely Rational says:

        Wait, if you host that site-that-shall-not-be-named, we must know each other, at least if you’ve been doing it for awhile. I haven’t been on for a long time (and really need to go back). I don’t want to link this username publicly to the one I have on there so I can’t say who I am. But I’m known as a wall-o-text debater (in fact, something like that was my role in our “union”), so that may be a clue there. πŸ™‚

  3. Petite Snarl says:

    I’m poor and back in school but I’d still be willing to subscribe to your content. I’ve followed you for nearly a decade so FUCK YEAH

  4. BA says:

    Okay, I’ve lamented the design of your post-Tumblr website for so long. I’ve always felt that you deserved something better and bristled at all the inconsistencies and poor design choices. Only recently did I start accepting it…and now you post this! Coke, you absolutely deserve a website as sharp and stylish as you. You deserve the the hot-shit-est of hot shit websites. I can’t wait to see it, and I think crowd-fundraising is a great idea.

    I love that the website has a focus on your advice posts because most websites are far too busy and have far too much going on. So while I’m not keen on the idea of a forum, perhaps a more streamlined comments section (with options to sort by time, etc.) is a better idea?

    I do adore the serif font for comments and posts. Hope you keep that.

    Anyway, you’re the damn best. Good luck & love you!

    • Margo says:

      agree, no forum! Would be a mess, a time sink, low-quality content, and a bummer. You’ve got a great thing going with the comment section, which doesn’t distract from your writing (for the reader or you).

      Enthusiastic yes to patreon. Fucktheory does it, why can’t you?

      • definitely not batman says:

        I tried donating to his Patreon, but that thing rejected the only card I have. I couldn’t find the reason why on their website. So if Coke goes the Patreon way, I probably won’t be able to donate, even though I really want to. Still, some kind of crowdfunding thing is a good idea.

        • ALI BABA says:

          It seems like she’s looking to raise money specifically for a new website, not for continuous support of her work. Crowdrise or Gofundme might be better options than Patreon.

    • Joey says:

      From what I have seen Patreon of semi-popular people can bet you a few hundred dollars per month. You should take it, it’s on the table. And I say this not only because I want to support you, but also to improve how much time it makes sense for you to put into this and the quality of the experience. I think it would be worthwhile.

  5. I follow a number of people on Patreon, and would definitely add you to the list should you create one. I think it’s a great way to raise funds, and to offer little extras to the members of your readership who are able to support you financially.

  6. Em says:

    I would donate without a question. Your advice has been so helpful and so meaningful to me over the years that I couldn’t begin to put a price on it.

  7. killerwail says:

    DO IT! I contribute to Patreons for all my favorite writers / bloggers, and I’ve always been sad you didn’t have one. You’re the best of them all.

  8. Maria says:

    Yes please! Yes please! I will use whatever service you find easiest and best for you. As Rebecca said, there are only so many pre-orders I can find homes for. I imagine all of the “give money to the artists you love” websites take a cut, but it has to be a smaller cut than your publisher takes?

    Personally, I’ve loved supporting creators on Patreon. If it helps you gauge interest, I’d be in for about $10/month.

  9. Spot says:

    I’m finally in a place where I can comfortably subscribe to Patreon to support my favorite artists. I’ve got a dog-eared copy of your first book and a handful of preorders for the second, but unfortunately I was a broke student when your delicious line of handbags came out. Putting a little cash your way now is the least I can do for what you’ve done for me and countless others. Please let us help keep this glorious ship afloat.

  10. Kay says:

    You’ve done considerably more to improve my life than a private osteopath I found who has big muscly arms and many qualifications, and he charges Β£55, so I’d consider it only fair to donate the equivalent and skip the osteopath this time…

    N.B. not insinuating that you don’t have big muscly arms and many qualifications, but you’re not my osteopath – as far as I KNOW.

  11. Adele says:

    You’ve never answered any of my questions but I would still donate hardcore – I read every inch of this blog and have recently shared it with some friends and if some shitty ass podcasts can ask for money you definitely rank.

  12. Marie says:

    I would love to be able to contribute to this project, and I’d be shocked if others here didn’t feel the same way. I also would be willing to bet that there are quite a few people here who have the capability and willingness to build you a hot shit website at a discount.

    Would you prefer for us to just give you cash via crowdfunding sites, or would it be better for any reason if we just order tons of copies of your book? I don’t know how that shit works but I’m happy to do whichever one will be more helpful. I only ordered one for myself so far but if I had a bunch I could definitely find homes for them.

  13. J. Nolast says:

    I’ve been reading your work for years without having to pay a dime. Conversely, I’ve been shelling up money for my entire life to read work I enjoy half as much. Definitely try some crowd fundraising. I’d absolutely donate.

  14. PpFt says:

    Yes Please. I have donated to far less worthy causes. I would absofuckinglutely donate… for your voice, your playlists, your writing, your aesthetic, your humour. Space is kind of at a premium for me at the moment, so while I did not want to buy an actual physical book for myself to keep, I did look long and hard for someone who wasn’t already reading CT whom I could give it to.

  15. Jason says:

    I can’t afford to buy your book right now (maybe once I have more cash and I can buy a used paperback copy), but I could definitely put in a dollar here and there towards your website!

    • ALI BABA says:

      I doubt Coke would do this, first of all, and second of all, I think it’s a terrible idea overall. We like Coke because she’s refreshingly authentic, intelligent, and hilarious. Monetizing this website with ads and product placement would kill the vibe.

  16. Chu says:

    I love you so much. You’ve shaped me into a better person over many many years. I would gladly give money if you set up some sort of means for me (us) to do so.


  17. NELL says:

    Yes absolutely I would donate to continue reading your amazing thoughts and words! I will say however that I absolutely HATE that Amanda Palmer Ted Talk passionately and while I know nothing about that person other than that talk I think she comes across as an ass. It’s probably my least favorite talk I ever seen.

  18. Whitney says:

    I think there is nothing wrong with some fundraising, especially if you have come up with cash to deal with the traffic on your site. Patreon seems like an interesting platform for creatives, I say yes. You can always pull back if it’s not working for you. I would donate some money, I love your site.

  19. areessdubs says:

    Like many others have mentioned before me, I’ve been reading your stuff for years and you’ve had a profoundly positive impact on my life. I’d be glad to have an opportunity give something back to you for a change.

  20. I work for Patreon and it would seriously be my pleasure to answer any questions you have about getting started. I’m honored to see you considering Patreon and even more excited to see how stoked your readers are to become patrons.

    Please, dear friend, email me. Let’s get this going.


  21. Ali says:

    Yes! I’ve never supported anyone on patreon, but once I start getting regular paychecks, you would be the first person I’d support.

  22. LLM says:

    CQ – HELL YES. I mean, you know how much you’ve helped the rest of us, obviously. It’s our turn for those of us who can to help you.

  23. Aaa says:

    I would prefer to buy your books/bracelets/purses/book club subscription/whatever you’re selling than donating on patreon, but if you need to raise money for a website and you choose crowdfunding I am certainly chipping in.

  24. Charlotte says:

    Absolutely. You’re the best lifestyle blog on the Internet, and you aren’t even a lifestyle blog. If cupcakes and cups of jo and a smittens get to make money on their site, so should you.

  25. James says:

    Absolutely, yes.
    I don’t think incentives are a bad idea either. I get how left out they can make people feel but at the same time it’s a rare opportunity for you to be able to pimp out some stuff, sell some more books, get rid of any old stock of yours.
    Personally I wouldn’t subscribe to a pay for content. I love you loads and have been following for years, one of my best accomplishments was getting my best friend hooked on the site as well and relating between the 3 of us.
    Anyway, we all have those dodgy months where money is weird and I couldn’t commit.
    Can’t wait to give you money though. (Currently a non dodgy month)

  26. Syd says:

    Do ads! Do ads! Do ads! Something simple on a sidebar somewhere. Donate most of the money to charity if that makes you feel better.

    • Chlo says:

      I’d much, much rather throw money directly her way than be bombarded with ads. (Besides, who doesn’t use Adblocker nowadays?)

      • E . says:

        You’re entirely missing the point of this great site if you think ads are the answer . (I’ll donate – and donate again, for the ad commenter)

  27. Chlo says:

    Throwing a little bit of cash your way would be a fitting “thank you” for the years of free advice you’ve provided us with!

  28. Luke says:

    We’ll support you in just about anything but, fwiw, hot-shit websites are overrated. You know how hard it is to not overdo things; I think it’s even harder to maintain taste on the web, and things go out of style just as fast. Simple is beautiful.

  29. Rachel says:

    I like things simple and I love this site for that. A “hot shit” website sounds weird and cluttered.

    That being said, I’m here for the reading and I’ll be here whether it is cluttered or not. I don’t know that I’d pay for access to a more flashy site though. I’m a mom on a budget. I just bought myself new underwear for the first time in years. And they were on clearance. And they’re not that cute.

  30. Badkyttiez says:

    I would totally contribute and have pre-ordered the hell out of your book (copies for friends and relatives). Get on it lady and you’ll have a hot shit website in no time flat!

  31. Bess says:

    go for it re patreon. i never see an issue with people asking for money for anything so long as they’re honest about what it’s gonna go towards.

  32. Melissa Low says:

    Less than a moon change before this place becomes chaos. Let’s enjoy the quiet before this shit hits the fans (see what I did there?). I would donate to your Patreon and I think a hot shit website is exactly what you deserve for the occasion.

  33. Swamp Ass says:

    A wise person once said, “it’s time to start paying for premium channels and going to see live music at smaller venues. Welcome to adulthood.” Go ‘head.

  34. unicornsrpeople2 says:

    I pre-ordered multiple copies of your book, partly to be able to give them as gifts to friends in need, and partly to give back to you for years of entertainment and wisdom. I feel like you helped me grow up. So, yeah, I think a lot of your readers would be happy to kick in a few bucks now and again to help you keep delivering your advice <3

  35. Raibean says:

    My favorite gofundme campaigns always have “stretch goals” listed – what they’ll do if they raise more money than they need. Like $5k extra (or whatever) goes right to this next awesome service.

    I don’t know how to make that applicable to this kind of shit, though.

  36. Commenter 43 says:

    Already pre-ordered two copies of your book and would donate for a shiny new site for you in a heartbeat. Mobilise your army already!

  37. Jomi says:

    Of course, fuck yes, obvio que si, Γ©videmment to Patreon.

    On the risk that knowing all this stuff already, be prepared to all the website related stuff to become a MAJOR pain in the ass.
    Web designers/programmers are the used car salesmen of our days.

    I’ guessing that you already know, but having a great web designer work for you can get very expensive very fast. Otoh, there’s no shortage of people willing to charge you an expensive bill for not-instantly-aparent shitty product on shitty terms.

    Reach out for help, there’s tons of resources available on how to handle this thing. I think is pretty great for finding good advice on this kind of stuff.

    Just my 2 cents. I hope still go through with this and that you end up happy and proud with whatever you end up with. Good luck and stuff.

  38. disqueued says:

    I think a patreon would be an awesome idea! If it feels a bit strange taking more than you need, put a cap on donations and only take more than you need more. That way, donations would generally come out of enthusiastic first-comers, and not people who would donate out of feelings of obligation.

  39. Yep. For all the help you’ve given, thank you. Gratitude also can be help, you need cash. And even more so, there are those who need you who can’t help in this way. For them, I’ll give.let’s do this.

  40. wrkrb says:

    I used to follow Post-Masculine until it got all fancy and turned into or .com – can’t stand the site now. Just avoid doing that.

    • The Coquette says:

      I just looked him up. Interesting dude, but I would never build a site like that. That’s a site designed by a marketing team to trick people into paying money for content. Not my style.

      • wrkrb says:

        Awesome. I would also like more of the writing on processing the social emotional dynamics of current events and politics. Those are the best(imo). Thank you for your good works and the ways you change and stay the same.

  41. SiltyLemur says:

    I am posting for the first time ever — on any blog to say: “Yes! Please!!!!” To the forums and the Patreon. Anything to help!

  42. autumn river says:

    Yes! I already support the website Wait but Why on a monthly basis via Patreon, and I’d be more than happy to do the same thing for the pleasure of supporting your content.

  43. Sharon says:

    It would even be fine for you to pocket the money. I love Patreon; I get my entertainment from the web and a lot of it is from people I have no way to compensate. If I click your website every day, it actually makes me incredibly happy to be able to put my money where my love is. PLEASE start a Patreon!

    The nice thing is that it lets people who can only give $1 a month participate in something bigger.

  44. Liam says:

    Even if you kept this same shitty website and pocketed the money I’d be happy. I want you to have my money. Please take my money.

  45. Buster Kat says:

    I’d definitely donate what little I could to help you create a sick website and forum! Might not be much but I’ll do what I can.

  46. Gaybeard says:

    You’re well past the critical mass of users necessary to be able to ask for funding without any kind of awkwardness attached.

    You have enough hard core long time supporters who trust you and believe in your integrity that you can count on us forming a solid and stable core of regular funders, as well as enough traffic and interest from newer and more casual viewers that you should be able to have your regular revenue topped up by the high traffic levels.

    I would suggest checking out the youtube channels of CGP Grey, MovieBob, IdeaChannel, History Buffs, Extra Credits, and the Green brothers who have all successfully transitioned to split their revenue sources between YouTube and Patreon. I would try to get in touch with some of them about their experiences since many of them are pretty accessible (with the exception of the Green Brothers). They are also all at different stages of their projects and, except for all making videos, have pretty wildly different channels and styles.

  47. Alicia says:

    I have a Patreon account and I’m set up to donate monthly to two people. You would be my third one in half a heartbeat. No question about it whatsoever.

  48. PolicyChick says:

    I would be happy to donate, especially if I could just subscribe and I pay you monthly.

    As far as a kick-ass website goes, I actually like how clean and almost peaceful your site is now. For example, I read Wonkette, and as much as I get a kick out of the writing there, that web site is…unfortunate.

    But I’m digressing. Yes let me give you money please and thank you.

  49. Lena says:

    I would love to help funding a new website for you! I’ve been reading dear coquette for years now, it’s one of my favourite destinations on the internet! You rock (and roll) lady!

  50. sketchybones says:

    You’d fit perfectly in the Patreon creator setting: regularly posted/generated content and a good fan base to help contribute financially. I would totally add you to my small list there!

  51. Katie says:

    Honestly, if I had to choose, I’d rather support a Patreon of yours than buy your book. I’d be supporting your work regularly instead of just once AND I’d get to support you as you make new content. I’d become a backer in a heartbeat.

  52. Ailey says:

    Yes. Please take the advice of several other commenters: don’t go crazy with the fancy. I love the simplicity of your site and the easy accessibility of the content.

  53. Caitlin says:

    Fuck yes, do it. I’ve literally grown up reading your blog, from angsty confused teenager to somewhat actual person many years later, and you’ve shaped so much of who I am and how I view the world and taught me so much. I’m a pretty broke writer myself, but you are my ultimate source of wisdom and my all time favourite. I will definitely be buying your book, which I am actually so excited for, and I would be super keen to donate.

  54. Juju says:

    You essentially run a non-profit organization. It’s only right that you have an option to receive donations from people who receive free services from you.

  55. Strangely Rational says:

    I can’t give much, but I will gladly contribute what I can. Your writing has made an enormous difference to me, and I’m not comfortable getting that for free or worse, that it would cost you money to do it.

  56. Honey Barbara says:

    I’m a lurker from a very far away corner of the planet, and my Aussie Dollar exchanges pretty shittily with the USD, but I’d suck that up, and would LOVE to support your mighty and great work. [I also think your mixes on your blog are excellent and they get a lot of play in my world, so I reckon I owe you.]

  57. Rik says:

    Count me in too Coke. I want you to still be around when my kids are old enough to enjoy and benefit from you. They might not listen to me but they sure as hell might listen to you.

    I’m also less keen on forums personally, I’ve never seen one that didn’t degenerate into insults and slanging matches. But a super-slick web experience would be sweet. Personally I’d also love to see you all packaged up as a beautiful app too…

  58. SH says:

    I would ABSOLUTELY donate either as a 1-time larger donation or a regular smaller donation. I trust your transparency as to where the money would be going to. Thanks for everything… I’ve been reading you for seven years wowza

  59. Lauren motherfucking Stephenson says:

    We will help support you. Do it, please. You’ve done so much for us–let us return the favor.


  60. Tim says:

    I’m a newcomer, so ignore me.

    You don’t need a better website. (Unless low-attention-span Twitterbrains can’t interact with you otherwise, but what? you want a buncha Dinky-Dons as readers?)

    This format puts the emphasis on the content. The words. The ideas. They’re what matters.

    Collect money from them’s what’s inclined to give. Support yourself with it. Don’t waste it on bells and whistles.

    Are you trying to be a Viral Internet Presence – or do some good?

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