We’re stuck in a suburban business hotel outside of Dallas, and our car won’t turn on, so we can’t even go get weed or beer. The cable was nice for the first couple of days but now I’m starting to feel the effects of cabin fever. How should we wait out the rest of the ice storm with poise, grace, and sanity?

Well, you could rent out one of the hotel conference rooms and invite everyone on your floor to a business casual ice storm orgy.

Or, you could download the Uber app and get a private driver to take you around the frozen tundra of Dallas to score weed and beer.

Or both.