On valentines

I’ve got Valentines issues.  Normally I brush the day off as the commoditization and cheapening of love with meaningless knickknack gifts.  However, I’m currently in a sticky situation with a guy friend.  I told him I liked him and asked if he wanted to date, but he wouldn’t give me a straight yes or a no.  Ever since then, we’ve become even closer friends that talk constantly and spend a fair bit of time with each other.  We’ve gotten pretty physical and have even been close to kissing before, but nothing to seal the deal.  How do I handle Valentines Day?  A gift? Candy? A valentine saying make a move?  I don’t know what to do…

First things first. Get it out of your head that any single act of physical intimacy is the thing that will seal the deal on the status of your relationship. You do not live in a romantic comedy.

Sure, anything from a simple kiss to some hot nasty sex can signify romantic intent, but swapping bodily fluids isn’t what’s going to make your shit official.

That being said, neither is Valentine’s Day. It’s just a Hallmark holiday for couples to waste disposable income memorializing the fact that they still fuck. Big deal. Don’t freak out about it, and don’t be threatened by it.

In fact, Make Valentine’s Day your bitch. Use it. If you want to get romantic, go ahead and do it. If you want him to be your Valentine, then fuck it, he already is.

It’s a perfect opportunity to make some sort of overture, because if it blows up in your face, you can shrug your shoulders and blame it on the holiday.

I wouldn’t bother with gifts and candy. Maybe just a card. The important thing is just to be playful about it all and let the ridiculousness of the whole day be your justification for making a move.

That’s right, you be the one to make a move. Find the right moment and lean in and kiss the bastard. Worst case scenario, it’s an awkward mess you can blame on the holiday. More likely, though, you guys will spend the rest of the night making out.

Good times.


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