Advice

On your weight.

Are you judgmental of overweight women? Do you think heavier girls can be just as sexy and desirable as our skinny counterparts?

Overweight. Underweight. The terms are judgmental in and of themselves. They imply a standard. That’s fine if the standard is based on health and well being, but it’s not okay if the standard is based on an idealized notion of aesthetic perfection.

Unfortunately, most girls don’t seem to make the distinction between their desire to meet a healthy standard and their desire to meet an aesthetic ideal. Your question doesn’t make the distinction either.

You’re asking me about sex appeal and desirability as it relates to weight, but sexiness isn’t something that comes down to a number on a bathroom scale. On the heavy side, I have a massive throbbing lady boner for Christina Hendricks, but I find Beth Ditto to be downright unattractive. On the skinny side, I’ve always thought Kate Moss was kinda gross, but I would spend days going down on Keira Knightley.

Weight has very little to do with whether I think you’re hot. That shit’s just a measurement. Sure, it correlates to other things that do affect my attraction — self-confidence, physical fitness, personal style — but too often girls get caught up with hitting a dress size or a weight goal and they neglect the stuff that really matters.

This applies to the guys too, by the way. Your weight is far less important to me than whether you’re healthy, well groomed, stylish, and confident.

Still, let’s not kid ourselves. Morbid obesity, by its very definition, isn’t healthy. The American version of overweight is usually unattractive because it is the direct result of a shitty diet and a sedentary lifestyle. Of course, the American version of underweight is equally unattractive because it’s usually the result of an eating disorder or some other physical disease.

Being healthy almost always implies being at an appropriate weight for your body type. Is that judgement? Maybe, but I probably wasn’t gonna fuck you anyway, so what do you care what I think?

Standard

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