Best-Of Advice

On a bugatti

Forgive me for my ignorance, but what’s a Bugatti?

A Bugatti is a multi-million dollar, ultra-exotic sports car under an Italian marque built by a French manufacturer owned by a bunch of Germans.

Bugattis are hideous. They look like a Porsche wearing an angry motorcycle helmet. They’re obviously designed to appeal to coked-up Saudi Princes, but hey, if you wanna get date raped after a night of clubbing by the douchebag son of a billionaire, the Bugatti is definitely the car to do it in.

Last year some hoodrat Florida rapper jumped off of Rick Ross’s dick long enough to produce an embarrassingly bad auto-tuned mess of a track featuring the lyrical hook, “I woke up in a new Bugatti.” It was a huge hit, and now Bugatti has replaced Maybach as the vehicular status symbol most fetishized by people who don’t know any better.

Of course, for her latest single Brit-Brit needed something that rhymed with “hot body,” and since “Illuminati” would have been inappropriate, she went with “Bugatti” and “Maserati.” You know, because two Italian sports cars and visible abs represent the aspirational limits of her fan base.


2 thoughts on “On a bugatti

  1. gk says:

    like I 100% understand your frustration with exotic cars as status symbols but this post reeks of condescension and devaluing of rap music. Auto-tune does not make a mess. the song is quite good. Please don’t describe any rappers as “hoodrats”.

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