I have a “chicken and the egg” question, or at least that’s how it feels to me. I’ve been single for a couple months now but I’m still not over my ex. I’ve met a bunch of girls through friends that I feel a little interested in, but I don’t really think I’m ready to date or hook up. Will I know when I’m ready to put myself out there, or do I have to push myself through awkward social and sexual encounters for a while to get over her?
So yeah, I don’t think you understand the fundamental “which came first” paradox of the chicken and the egg. Unless you traveled back through time and became your own father by having an awkward sexual encounter with your mother, then your love life isn’t a problem of infinite regression.
What you’re dealing with is more of a Catch-22 type paradoxical situation in which you won’t be over your ex until you start dating again, but you can’t start dating again until you’re over your ex. It’s a pretty weak Catch-22, but it’s understandable considering how far your head is still stuck up your ass from what must have been an ugly break-up.
For the record, this is why rebounding exists. You’re allowed to fuck around a bit while you get over your ex, and it doesn’t have to mean anything. Go ahead and put yourself out there. Not all the way. Just a little. Have a one-night stand or something. Dip your toe in the dating pool.
Healing takes time. Might as well be getting laid while you wait.