What was supposed to be a no biggie fling has turned into a brain exploding headfuck with a guy who has suddenly decided he doesn’t want to sleep with me because he “respects me as a human-being” and even though he finds me “extremely sexually attractive” doesn’t want to use me like a “toy” and is afraid sex will lead to “feelings”.

The misogyny embedded in his dick-teasing explanations for not wanting to fuck make me want to put my head through a wall. Last time I was single, this city was a casual sex fest. I haven’t yet encountered this shit and I’m really confused.

I’m pretty butthurt I didn’t get laid cos, apparently, I’m a “woman” and I have “feelings” and those “feelings” are activated through my vagina. How should I process this stupid shit?

He just didn’t want to fuck you. It happens. Get over it.

It’s okay, though. I know his type. The sex would have been terrible, and he’d have been calling you a cab while you were still wiping his cum off your tits.

Of course, that’s what he was trying to tell you with all that coded “nice guy” bullshit. You just have to know how to read between the lines. When this guy said he’s afraid sex would lead to “feelings,” what he meant is that he’s afraid sex would lead to “you being needy.”

And he doesn’t find you “extremely sexually attractive” any more than he “respects you as as human-being.” That’s just him being patronizing. After all, for him to think that casual sex would be “using you like a toy” pretty much sums up his internalized opinion of women as sex objects.

I get that rejection sucks, but not getting laid by an emotionally crippled douchebag ain’t the worst thing that’ll happen to you this week. Hard dick is good to find, but good dick is harder to find than you think. Keep looking. You’ll get some soon enough.