For over a year, I’ve been sleeping with a much older man. We’re not dating, we’re not great friends, we’re just fucking. The sex is fantastic, and he’s a good person, so up until this moment I have been delighted with the situation.
Recently, though, it’s not as much fun. I’ve been trying to figure this out, and I think it’s because I don’t have much control. This might sound ridiculous, but if I wanna bone, I have to wait until he can fit me into his schedule, which can take days (sometimes, it’s taken weeks). When I asked him about it, he was surprised I brought it up, and while he recognized that it wasn’t cool to make me wait around for him, he didn’t like the idea of me being with other guys — this is not surprising, the surprising part (to me, at least) is that I agreed with him.
So what the hell is going on with me? I’m 24, which is young in many ways, but I’m pretty in control of my world. Why am I waiting around for this guy to be available just so we can fuck? If there’s no agreed-upon attachment, I should acknowledge that being “exclusive” with him is a joke. And more importantly, why do I even want to wait around for him? We have a great vibe when we’re together, but when we’re not, there’s nothing missing from my life. So why can’t I figure out how I feel about this guy and move on? Am I into him without realizing it, am I digging the sex so much that I don’t want to let it go, or am I just being dumb?
I dunno. Maybe you should ask your dad what to do? Oh wait, lemme guess. He was never around for that kind of thing.
Yeah, that’s right. I said it. You’ve got daddy issues. Not major ones. Just enough for this dude to slip under your skin and turn into a thing.
How about you step back and realize that you’re the young hot one and you don’t have to wait around for this fucker to fit you into his schedule. Sure, you like his attention when you get it, but a forty-something fuck buddy isn’t worth this kind of headache.
Break it off. Find someone new. You don’t need to be mind fucking yourself, and you sure as hell don’t need to be anyone’s mid-life crisis.